Thai Spinach Beef Salad

Late February. One week until the newsletter launch. The anxiety is: present. The anxiety about the newsletter is different from the anxiety about the blog or the book — the newsletter anxiety is the anxiety of intimacy, the fear of being close, the fear that the rawness will be too raw, the fear that the three-AM voice will be the voice that people hear and recoil from, the voice that says: I take pills and I make soup and I cry in parking lots and I am forty and I am still scared and the scared is the condition and the condition is human and the human is me.

I made Fumiko's gyoza — one hundred of them, the folding as meditation, the meditation as anxiety management, the hundred crimps the hundred breaths that get me from the fear to the faith. The faith is: the rawness will land. The rawness will find its people. The people are the ones who also cry in parking lots and also make soup at three AM and also take pills and also practice yoga and also write and also parent and also carry the dead in their kitchens. The people are many. The people are the community. The community is waiting.

I tested the email system — sent the first issue to myself, to Lin, to Miya. Lin said: "This is the thing you've been building toward." Miya said: "It sounds like you talking to me." The two reviews are the two metrics: Lin sees the career arc, Miya sees the intimacy. Both are correct. Both are the Dashi. The Dashi is both.

I wrote an announcement for the blog: "In one week, I am launching a newsletter called Dashi. It will be weekly. It will be personal. It will be about food and grief and the space between. It will be the version of me that the blog approaches but does not fully reach. If you want the raw version — the three-AM version, the chipped-bowl version, the version that is too honest for print — subscribe to Dashi." The announcement was posted. The subscribers jumped from five hundred to eight hundred overnight. The jump was the answer: eight hundred people want the raw version. Eight hundred people want the Dashi.

I folded a hundred gyoza that week and then, when the subscribers hit eight hundred and I finally exhaled, I needed something that used different muscles — something bright and sharp and fast, the way relief feels. This Thai Spinach Beef Salad was Fumiko’s suggestion months ago, scrawled on a Post-it I kept on the fridge: “when you’re too tired to crimp, make this.” The lime and the fish sauce and the heat are the antidote to the crimping — the same faith, a different form, the same kitchen, a different kind of courage.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 10 min | Total Time: 25 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

1 lb flank steak or sirloin, thinly sliced against the grain
5 oz fresh baby spinach
1 cup shredded red cabbage
1 medium cucumber, thinly sliced
1/2 cup shredded carrots
1/4 cup fresh mint leaves
1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves
3 green onions, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons sesame seeds, toasted
2 tablespoons neutral oil (avocado or canola)
For the dressing:
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice (about 2 limes)
2 tablespoons fish sauce
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon honey or brown sugar
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (or 1 fresh Thai chili, minced)

Instructions

Make the dressing. Whisk together lime juice, fish sauce, soy sauce, honey, sesame oil, garlic, ginger, and red pepper flakes in a small bowl until the honey dissolves. Taste and adjust — it should be bright, salty, and a little hot. Set aside.
Sear the beef. Pat the sliced beef dry with paper towels and season lightly with salt and pepper. Heat neutral oil in a large skillet or wok over high heat until shimmering. Add beef in a single layer (work in batches if needed) and sear 1–2 minutes per side until just cooked through and lightly caramelized. Do not crowd the pan. Transfer to a plate and let rest 5 minutes.
Build the salad base. Arrange spinach in a wide, shallow serving bowl or platter. Top with red cabbage, cucumber, carrots, mint, cilantro, and green onions, distributing evenly.
Add the beef. Layer the warm seared beef slices over the salad. The warmth will just barely wilt the top leaves of spinach — this is intentional and good.
Dress and finish. Drizzle the dressing evenly over the entire salad. Scatter toasted sesame seeds over the top. Serve immediately while the beef is still warm.

Nutrition (per serving)

Thai Spinach Beef Salad — The Recipe I Made When Eight Hundred People Said Yes