By Easter week. We did Easter at my parents' house Sunday — the early Easter this year, first weekend in April. I made the ham. Mom did the rest. The ham is the spiral kind from Aldi, the one that's already cooked and you just glaze it with brown sugar and pineapple juice and put it in the oven for an hour. Twenty-two dollars. Feeds twelve. I will defend this ham with my life.
Wally was there. He looked smaller than he did at the birthday party two weeks ago. He didn't eat much. He drank a glass of water and a glass of wine and ate a few bites of mashed potatoes and asked for a slice of ham, which he ate slowly. He sat in his chair after dinner and the twins came and sat on him and he held them with his eyes closed and I thought maybe he was sleeping and then he opened his eyes and said "they're heavy now," which was the most words he'd strung together all afternoon.
The twins did the egg hunt in the backyard — Mom hides plastic eggs filled with cheap candy, the same way she did when I was three. Owen found seventeen. Nora found nine and was extremely upset until I told her she could have some of Owen's, which Owen agreed to with the grace of a child who does not yet understand scarcity. They divided their loot on the back step in the cold spring sunlight and ate way too much chocolate, and Ryan and I let them, because that's what Easter is for.
I made the babka — Babcia Rose's recipe — for the first time. I have been afraid of the babka for a decade. It's a yeast dough, it requires patience, it requires letting things rise twice, it requires a tube pan I had to buy at Marshall's for nine dollars. I made it Saturday night. It came out fine. Not great. The dough was a little dense. The chocolate filling was uneven. But Mom tasted it Sunday and said "you made the babka," and I said yes, and she said "Babcia Rose would be glad," and I had to leave the room for a minute. I will make a better one next year. I have time.
The babka cracked something open in me — I’d been avoiding that whole tier of baking for years, the kind that requires two rises and a tube pan and a grandmother’s ghost watching over your shoulder. While I work up to making it better next year, these No Guilt Brownies have become my in-between: something I can pull together on a Wednesday night when I still want chocolate but I don’t want the weight of legacy on it. They’re forgiving the way Wally’s slow smile was forgiving, the way Easter candy divided on a cold back step is forgiving — no ceremony required, just something sweet.
No Guilt Brownies
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 25 minutes | Total Time: 35 minutes | Servings: 16
Ingredients
- 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
- 2 large eggs
- 1/4 cup low-fat milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 tablespoons mini chocolate chips (optional)
Instructions
- Preheat — and prep your pan. Heat your oven to 350°F. Lightly coat an 8x8-inch baking pan with nonstick spray and set aside.
- Whisk the dry ingredients. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, salt, and baking powder until evenly combined.
- Mix the wet ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together the applesauce, eggs, milk, and vanilla until smooth.
- Combine. Pour the wet mixture into the dry ingredients and stir until just combined — don’t overmix. Fold in chocolate chips if using.
- Bake. Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan. Bake for 22–25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs.
- Cool before cutting. Let the brownies cool completely in the pan before slicing into 16 squares. They firm up as they cool.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 90 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 2g | Carbs: 17g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 65mg