By Liam turns six next week. I am planning a small party. Ten kids from his kindergarten class, pizza, a cake from the Italian bakery on Dot Ave, a piñata because he asked. Patrick will come dressed as a firefighter because I bribed him.
Liam looks like Sean. He has always, but this week I noticed it sharper. The way he tilts his head when he is listening. The quiet watchfulness. The eyes, the exact shade of dark brown with the green flecks that Sean's had, the ones I used to look for in daylight. I watched him at the kitchen table Wednesday doing his kindergarten math homework and I had to leave the room for a minute. I went into the bathroom and breathed until my throat opened.
I did not say any of this to Liam. He is six. He is fine. He is busy.
Clinic had a hard Thursday. A 48-year-old with chest pain I sent to the ER — MI confirmed, stented, survived. He will be okay. But those are the moments I feel the work, the catch-or-miss of it.
Group Tuesday — new six-week cycle, new members. A man in his 40s whose wife died of ALS last year. A 70-year-old woman whose husband died in February. Bernadette welcomed them. I noticed I am no longer the newest.
Saturday pancakes. Burned the first one. I doubled the batch because Liam invited Sean III over for Sunday morning. Patrick and Colleen dropped him off at 9, came in, had coffee. Sean III ate a half a pancake and smeared the rest into his hair. Nora found this hilarious.
Sunday dinner at Southie. Ma is making a test cake for Liam's birthday next weekend. Boston cream, because Liam has decided that is the cake. Ma has made about forty Boston cream cakes in her life. It was delicious. I ate two slices and did not feel guilty.
Meghan called at 11. She asked about the birthday. She said she and the kids will be there. Brian is working. I said good, tell him thanks for the gift anyway.
Food of the week: Ma's Boston cream cake. Yellow cake, pastry cream, chocolate ganache. Not traditional — she puts a layer of raspberry jam in the middle. Liam approves.
The pancakes were already a double batch, and the Boston cream cake was Ma’s department — but I still wanted to put something in Liam’s hands before the party weekend, something I made myself, something that only took one bowl and didn’t require me to think too hard. After Thursday’s close call at the clinic and Wednesday at the kitchen table when I had to leave the room, I needed the kind of baking that is just stirring and waiting. These brownies were exactly that.
The Best One Bowl Brownies
Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 16
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 2 large eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (optional but recommended)
Instructions
- Preheat and prep. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease an 8x8-inch baking pan or line it with parchment paper.
- Melt the butter. In a large microwave-safe bowl, melt the butter in 30-second intervals until just melted. Let cool slightly.
- Add sugar and eggs. Stir sugar into the melted butter until combined. Add eggs one at a time, stirring well after each. Mix in vanilla extract.
- Add dry ingredients. Add cocoa powder, flour, salt, and baking powder directly to the bowl. Stir until just combined — do not overmix. Fold in chocolate chips if using.
- Bake. Spread batter evenly into the prepared pan. Bake 23–27 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with moist crumbs (not wet batter).
- Cool and cut. Let cool in the pan for at least 15 minutes before cutting into 16 squares. They firm up as they cool.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 155 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 7g | Carbs: 22g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 55mg