Stuffed Haddock — A Sunday Dinner Made With Love, for Gloria

Mother's Day is Sunday and I have never quite known what to do with it. In foster care it was a complicated day. Some years it was pointed absence, some years it was just a Sunday that hurt more than usual. I am twenty-two now and I have Gloria, who is not my mother in the legal sense but is the person who has mothered me most completely, and I have learned to let Mother's Day be about her and not about what else it is not.

I am cooking her a full dinner this Sunday: fried catfish with homemade tartar sauce, hush puppies fried golden, coleslaw with a vinegar dressing because she prefers vinegar to mayo, macaroni and cheese, and a lemon pound cake for dessert. I have been working on the hush puppies for two hours this morning. The batter has to be the right consistency, not too thick and not too loose, and the oil has to be the right temperature. Mine have been good before. Today I want them to be great.

Gloria does not talk about the fact that I do not have a mother. She never has. What she did instead was cook with me and teach me and feed me and keep feeding me until I stopped being hungry for something I could not name. I think about that sometimes, how food can be love made concrete, how a pot of beans or a cast iron of biscuits can mean you are wanted and expected and worth feeding. I learned that here. I am trying to deserve it.

Happy Mother's Day to Gloria Martin, who is the reason I can cook, and to James Martin, who has eaten everything I have made for eight years without one complaint.

All week I have been planning this dinner around what Gloria loves, and fish has always been at the center of her table. The hush puppies and catfish are mine to manage on Sunday, but practicing this stuffed haddock — a dish built on patience, on layering simple things carefully until they become something worth sitting down to — has helped me understand what I am really doing: I am cooking the way she taught me, which is to say I am cooking with the whole of myself. This is the recipe I keep coming back to when I want to do something right.

Stuffed Haddock

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 30 minutes | Total Time: 50 minutes | Servings: 4

Ingredients

• 4 haddock fillets (about 6 oz each), skin removed
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided, plus more for the baking dish
• 1/2 cup finely diced yellow onion
• 1/2 cup finely diced celery
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 cup dry seasoned breadcrumbs
• 2 tablespoons fresh flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon lemon zest
• 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice, divided
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• Lemon slices and extra parsley, for serving

Instructions

1. Preheat and prepare. Preheat your oven to 375°F. Lightly butter a 9x13-inch baking dish and set aside.
2. Sauté the aromatics. Melt 2 tablespoons of butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and celery and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute more. Remove from heat.
3. Build the stuffing. In a medium bowl, combine the breadcrumbs, parsley, lemon zest, paprika, salt, and pepper. Add the sautéed vegetables and 1 tablespoon of the lemon juice. Stir until the mixture holds together when pressed; it should be moist but not wet. Taste and adjust seasoning.
4. Stuff the fillets. Lay the haddock fillets flat on a clean surface. Divide the stuffing evenly among the fillets, mounding it down the center of each. Fold the sides of each fillet up and over the stuffing, or roll the fillet around it if it is long enough, and place seam-side down in the prepared baking dish.
5. Top and bake. Melt the remaining 1 tablespoon of butter and drizzle it evenly over the stuffed fillets along with the remaining tablespoon of lemon juice. Bake uncovered for 25 to 30 minutes, until the fish flakes easily with a fork and the tops are lightly golden.
6. Rest and serve. Let the fillets rest in the pan for 3 minutes before serving. Plate with lemon slices and a scatter of fresh parsley.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 295 | Protein: 36g | Fat: 9g | Carbs: 15g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 480mg