By Thanksgiving. The first Thanksgiving as a college student, which means coming home feels different — like visiting a place you know by heart but seeing it with eyes that have been somewhere else. Mama had the turkey in at 5 a.m. Daddy made gumbo alongside it because this is Louisiana and one main dish is an insult to the table. MawMaw Shirley made oyster dressing and sweet potato pie. Kayla made nothing, as is Kayla's Thanksgiving tradition, but she set the table with a centerpiece she designed herself — dried fall flowers in a vase she painted — and it was beautiful and that was her contribution and it was enough.
Uncle Terrence came. He wore the tie. He ate two plates of everything. He sat next to MawMaw Shirley and she held his hand during the prayer, a prayer that lasted five minutes and named every Robinson living and dead, including DeAndre, whose name MawMaw Shirley said with the careful emphasis of a woman who will not let the dead go unspoken. I bowed my head and thought about DeAndre and about the chair that has been empty at every table since 2020, and about how the empty chair is its own form of presence.
Jamal FaceTimed during dinner. He and Brittany are spending Thanksgiving in Houston with her family. Mama accepts this intellectually and rejects it emotionally, which she expresses by saying, "I understand," in a tone that communicates the opposite. Brittany is a good woman and Jamal is happy and Mama knows this and also Mama wants her son at her table, and both of these truths coexist the way all family truths coexist: uncomfortably and permanently.
I made the sweet potato pie this year — MawMaw Shirley's recipe, from her card, in our kitchen. I brought it to the table and set it down and MawMaw Shirley cut the first slice and tasted it and looked at me and said, "Almost." I said, "Almost?" She said, "Almost perfect. Which is where you want to be, because perfect means you stopped learning." I am never going to stop learning. The pie was excellent. MawMaw Shirley knows it was excellent. "Almost" is her way of saying "keep going," and I will. I always will.
The sweet potato pie got all the attention that night, but if I’m honest, the dish I kept going back to was the mac and cheese. Every Robinson Thanksgiving has one — baked until the edges go golden and the center stays soft enough to make you close your eyes on the first bite. It’s the dish that was on the table when Uncle Terrence went for his second plate, the dish Kayla ate standing up in the kitchen before anyone sat down, the dish that doesn’t need MawMaw Shirley to say “almost” because it just is what it is: full, warm, and exactly enough. This is how we make it.
Southern Mac and Cheese
Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 45 minutes | Total Time: 1 hour 5 minutes | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 1 pound elbow macaroni
- 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 3 cups whole milk
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 1 teaspoon dry mustard
- 2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
- 1 cup mild cheddar cheese, shredded
- 1 cup Colby jack cheese, shredded
- 2 large eggs, beaten
- 1/2 cup sour cream
- 1/2 cup extra sharp cheddar cheese, shredded (for topping)
- 1 tablespoon paprika (for topping)
Instructions
- Cook the pasta. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook elbow macaroni one minute short of the package directions so it stays firm. Drain and set aside.
- Make the cheese sauce. In a large saucepan over medium heat, melt butter. Whisk in flour and cook for 1 to 2 minutes until it turns a light golden color. Slowly pour in the milk, whisking constantly to prevent lumps. Cook until the sauce thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 5 to 7 minutes.
- Season the sauce. Stir in salt, black pepper, garlic powder, cayenne, and dry mustard. Remove the saucepan from the heat.
- Add the cheese. Stir in the sharp cheddar, mild cheddar, and Colby jack until fully melted and smooth.
- Temper the eggs. Spoon a small amount of the hot cheese sauce into the beaten eggs, whisking quickly to warm them without scrambling. Pour the egg mixture back into the sauce and stir to combine. Stir in the sour cream.
- Combine. Add the cooked macaroni to the cheese sauce and fold until every piece is coated. Pour into a greased 9x13 inch baking dish.
- Top and bake. Sprinkle the remaining 1/2 cup extra sharp cheddar and paprika over the top. Bake at 350°F for 35 to 40 minutes, until the top is golden and the edges are bubbling.
- Rest before serving. Let the mac and cheese cool for 10 minutes before cutting. This lets it set so the slices hold together.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 520 | Protein: 24g | Fat: 28g | Carbs: 42g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 680mg