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Quintuple Chocolate Fudgy Brownie Cookies —rsquo; Something Sweet for the People Who Show Up

August 3. Two years.

I did not work Sunday. Patrick and Colleen took the kids to the New England Aquarium on Saturday so I could have a quiet morning. I went to the cemetery early — 7:15 AM, dew on the grass, no one else in the Catholic section. I sat on the ground next to Sean's stone for an hour. I did not cry until the very end, and then I cried for ten minutes hard, and then I stopped, and the morning kept being a morning.

I lit a candle at St. Brigid's after. The same one we got married in. The same one we baptized Liam and Nora in. The candle was a good thing to do.

Sunday dinner at Ma's. Just family. Patrick and Colleen and Sean III, Meghan and Brian and Aidan, my kids, Ma and Dad. Connor drove up from Plymouth. Jess could not come. Connor brought a bottle of Sean's favorite whiskey and we passed it around in tiny glasses and toasted him. Maureen cried. Dad cried. Patrick cried, which I have seen once before in my life.

The kids were given the heads-up by me Thursday that this weekend was Daddy's anniversary. Liam asked what we were doing. I said we are remembering. He said we always do. I said yes, and on this day a little extra. Nora drew a picture of a rainbow and a cloud and Sean smiling on the cloud. We taped it to the fridge.

Clinic Monday-Wednesday were normal. I work because work works.

Group Tuesday. Bernadette is back. We told her about the substitute. She said you survived. We laughed.

Meghan called at 11 Sunday after dinner. She said are you okay. I said yes. She said really. I said really, Meg. I said the second one is different from the first. The first was the wound. The second is the scar.

Saturday pancakes. Burned the first one. Liam touched the jersey on his way past. He is starting to do it like a habit.

Food of the week: nothing. The whiskey at Ma's. The candle at St. Brigid's. The dew on Sean's stone.

There was no food of the week — I wrote that myself, and I meant it. But the week after, when I was standing in the kitchen on a Tuesday night with Liam doing homework at the table and Nora asking about dessert, I made these. Connor had left the rest of the whiskey with Ma, and Ma had sent me home with nothing, which was exactly right. So I made something instead. Something for the people who drove up from Plymouth, who cried without apology, who passed a bottle and said his name out loud. Five kinds of chocolate felt about right for a week that asked that much of everyone.

Quintuple Chocolate Fudgy Brownie Cookies

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 45 min | Servings: 24 cookies

Ingredients

  • 4 oz bittersweet chocolate (70% cacao), coarsely chopped
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 2 large eggs, room temperature
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
  • 2 tablespoons Dutch-process cocoa powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
  • 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 1/3 cup dark chocolate chips (60% cacao)
  • 1/4 cup milk chocolate chips
  • 1/4 cup white chocolate chips

Instructions

  1. Melt the base chocolate. Combine the chopped bittersweet chocolate and butter in a heatproof bowl set over a saucepan of barely simmering water. Stir until fully melted and smooth. Remove from heat and let cool for 10 minutes.
  2. Beat eggs and sugar. Using a hand mixer or stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the eggs and granulated sugar on medium-high for 3–4 minutes until the mixture is pale, thick, and falls in a ribbon from the beaters. Beat in the vanilla.
  3. Combine wet ingredients. Pour the cooled chocolate mixture into the egg mixture and fold gently with a rubber spatula until just combined.
  4. Add dry ingredients. Sift the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt directly over the batter. Fold until no dry streaks remain — do not overmix.
  5. Fold in the chips. Add the semi-sweet, dark, milk, and white chocolate chips and fold until evenly distributed. The batter will be loose and glossy.
  6. Rest the batter. Let the batter sit at room temperature for 15 minutes. It will thicken slightly as the chocolate sets. Meanwhile, preheat your oven to 350°F and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
  7. Portion and bake. Drop rounded tablespoons of batter onto the prepared baking sheets, spacing 2 inches apart. Bake for 10–12 minutes, until the tops are crackled and set but the centers still look slightly underdone. Do not overbake.
  8. Cool completely. Let cookies rest on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack. They will firm up as they cool into fudgy, brownie-textured rounds.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 148 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 7g | Carbs: 20g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 38mg

Kate Donovan
About the cook who shared this
Kate Donovan
Week 488 of Kate’s 30-year story · Boston, Massachusetts
Kate is a thirty-five-year-old nurse practitioner in Boston and a widowed mother of two whose husband Sean died of brain cancer at thirty-three. She makes Irish soda bread and beef stew and shepherd's pie because the recipes are all she has left of a man who was supposed to grow old with her. She writes about cooking through grief and finding out you can still feed your children on the worst day of your life.

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