Almost a Candy Bar

Siobhan is born. Tuesday afternoon, 3:14 PM, seven pounds two ounces. Meghan was a champion. Brian, Meghan reports, was useful for ice chips and very little else. Aidan was at our parents' house with Liam and Nora — he had been promised a sister (statistically uncertain, gender confirmed at the 20-week scan, technically promised) and he got one.

I went to the hospital Tuesday after work with a tray of brownies and the kids. Meghan looked tired and beautiful and she handed Siobhan to me as soon as we walked in. Siobhan has Brian's nose and Meghan's everything else. She slept against my shoulder for forty minutes. Nora touched her hand and gasped.

Liam said why is her head shaped like that. I said because that's how babies come out. He said okay. He moved on.

Aidan was less sure. He looked at her, looked at Meghan, looked at me, and said she is very small. Meghan said she will get bigger. Aidan said okay but I am the brother.

Maureen is, of course, in the hospital and at the apartment in Cambridge daily and texting me hourly updates of Siobhan's diaper count.

Clinic — busy week, but I left early Tuesday and Wednesday because nothing was going to keep me from that hospital.

Group Tuesday. I told them about Siobhan. Bernadette said joy is allowed. We held our paper cups of coffee up. Lila cried. Diane smiled.

Meghan called at 11 Friday from the apartment. She said I cannot believe I have two children. I said welcome to the club. She said how did you do this. I said I did not. I let it happen. She said yes.

Sunday dinner — at our house. Meghan was not coming to Ma's, so we all came to her in shifts. Ma made the food and brought it. Dad held Siobhan for forty-five minutes and looked at her like the second-coming.

Saturday pancakes. Burned the first one. The blue plate.

Food of the week: brownies, the ones I brought to the hospital. Cocoa, butter, an espresso shot. Meghan ate three.

I’d been planning to bring something to the hospital all week — Meghan deserved better than a gas station balloon and a grocery store card — and these bars felt exactly right: dense and chocolatey and a little over the top in the best possible way, the kind of thing you eat in a paper cup while someone you love holds a brand-new baby. Siobhan was seven pounds two ounces and Meghan ate three of them, which I will choose to take as the highest compliment. If you’re headed somewhere that calls for celebration, bring these.

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 30 min | Total Time: 50 min | Servings: 24 bars

Ingredients

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted
2 cups granulated sugar
4 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 shot (2 tablespoons) brewed espresso, cooled
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
2 tablespoons whole milk
1 cup milk chocolate chips, for topping
1 tablespoon coconut oil or vegetable shortening

Instructions

Preheat & prep. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan and line with parchment paper, leaving an overhang on the sides for easy lifting.
Make the brownie base. In a large bowl, whisk together the melted butter and sugar until smooth. Add eggs one at a time, whisking well after each. Stir in vanilla and the espresso shot. Sift in the cocoa powder, flour, salt, and baking powder and fold until just combined. Stir in the semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Bake. Pour batter into the prepared pan and spread evenly. Bake for 28—32 minutes, until the center is just set and a toothpick comes out with moist crumbs (not wet batter). Let cool completely in the pan.
Make the peanut butter layer. Beat peanut butter, powdered sugar, and milk together until smooth and spreadable. Spread evenly over the cooled brownie base. Refrigerate for 15 minutes to firm up.
Add the chocolate topping. Melt the milk chocolate chips with the coconut oil in a microwave-safe bowl in 30-second intervals, stirring between each, until smooth. Pour over the peanut butter layer and spread to the edges. Return to the refrigerator for at least 20 minutes until the chocolate sets.
Cut & serve. Use the parchment overhang to lift the bars out of the pan. Cut into 24 squares with a sharp knife, wiping the blade clean between cuts for neat edges.

Nutrition (per serving)

Almost a Candy Bar — The Brownies I Brought to Meet Siobhan