Pumpkin Knot Rolls -- Twisted Together, Even When We Stand Alone

Summer 2029. The house is two kids and us. Marco and Elena, the twins who are fourteen now and in high school — which happened the way everything in this family happens: gradually and then completely, without the warning I thought I was getting. Marco is on the varsity football team, where the coaching staff manages him separately from me, and where he is already having an impact as a freshman running back. Elena is running cross-country — not at Sofia's level, she'll be the first to tell you, but with a joy in it that is its own thing and worth more than any ranking.

Twelfth chile roasting. I always count them. I'll count them until I can't. Forty-five pounds, same as always. I did it alone this summer because Marco was at a football camp and Elena was at a writing retreat and Lisa was at a work event. Just me in the parking lot with the propane and the chiles and September coming. I thought about Hector. I thought about Ruben. I thought about the first roasting I did alone after Ruben died, when the act of standing in the smoke was the only thing that felt true. I've been standing in this smoke for thirteen Septembers. Each one has had what it needed. Each one has smelled like the same thing: the beginning of the fall, and all the falls before it, and the people who were in them.

Called Mom after the roasting. She was fine. Marisol was there for dinner. She said the house was okay. She said she'd started watching the NMSU games on TV, which she hadn't done in forty years — she watched for Hector, she said, because she knew he would have been watching. She watches the games for him. The love continues in the direction it was always going. It just finds new forms.

After the roasting — the smoke still on my jacket, the chiles cooling in bags in the back of the truck — I came home to an empty house and started baking. That’s what I do now. The house being quiet isn’t the same as being alone, not really, and I needed something in the oven that smelled like fall, like the same fall that always comes back. These pumpkin knot rolls are what I made: soft, golden, tied in little knots the way the season ties itself to everything that came before it. I baked them for Marco and Elena to come home to, and I left one on the counter for the morning, the way Ruben used to save the first thing out of the oven for whoever wasn’t there yet.

Pumpkin Knot Rolls

Prep Time: 25 minutes + 1 hour 30 minutes rise | Cook Time: 18 minutes | Total Time: 2 hours 15 minutes | Servings: 16 rolls

Ingredients

• 1 package (2 1/4 tsp) active dry yeast
• 3/4 cup warm whole milk (110°F)
• 1/4 cup warm water (110°F)
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar, divided
• 3/4 cup canned pumpkin puree
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
• 1 1/2 teaspoons fine salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 large egg, room temperature
• 4 to 4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for kneading
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted (for brushing)
• Flaky sea salt for topping (optional)

Instructions

1. Activate the yeast. In a small bowl, combine warm milk, warm water, and 1 teaspoon of the sugar. Sprinkle yeast over the top and let sit 5–10 minutes until foamy and fragrant.
2. Make the dough. In a large bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook, combine pumpkin puree, softened butter, remaining sugar, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and egg. Add the yeast mixture and stir to combine. Add flour 1 cup at a time, mixing until a soft, slightly tacky dough forms. You may not need all 4 1/2 cups — stop when the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl.
3. Knead the dough. Turn dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead by hand 6–8 minutes, or knead with dough hook on medium speed for 5 minutes, until smooth and elastic. The dough should spring back when poked.
4. First rise. Place dough in a lightly oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap or a clean kitchen towel, and let rise in a warm spot until doubled, about 1 hour.
5. Shape the knots. Punch down dough and divide into 16 equal pieces. Roll each piece into a rope about 9 inches long. Tie each rope into a loose knot, tucking the ends underneath. Place on two parchment-lined baking sheets, spaced 2 inches apart.
6. Second rise. Cover loosely and let rolls rise until puffed, about 30 minutes. While they rise, preheat oven to 375°F.
7. Bake. Bake 16–18 minutes, rotating pans halfway through, until rolls are deep golden brown on top and sound hollow when tapped. An instant-read thermometer inserted into the center should read 190°F.
8. Finish. Brush hot rolls generously with melted butter. Sprinkle with flaky sea salt if desired. Let cool at least 10 minutes before serving.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 185 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 5g | Carbs: 31g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 230mg