Oktoberfest Brats with Mustard Sauce

October. The kids' Halloween costumes are already a debate. Liam wants to be a Red Sox player, no specific player, just generic Red Sox. Nora wants to be a doctor, by which she means a nurse, by which she means me. I told her she could be a nurse and I would put her in scrubs. She said no, she wants the white coat. I said okay.

Clinic ran long Monday. Two new diabetic intakes back to back. Both Latina, both worried, one with English limited, one fluent. I take my time on the new diabetics. I give them the meter and the strips and the calendar and the list of foods and the speech about how this is not their fault and is also their job now. They both cried. I did not.

Group Tuesday. Quiet. Three of us. Bernadette had us name a small thing we are doing for ourselves. I said reading at night before bed instead of charts. Lila said walking the dog. The widower from Quincy — his name is Henry, I keep meaning to write his name down — said he has started cooking again, just for himself. He said it felt foolish to set the table for one. We told him it was not foolish. We meant it.

Wednesday Kettle. Eight quarts. Slow climb. I gave one to Henry from group, on the way home. He did not expect it. He said you do not need to do that, Kate. I said I did. He took it.

Liam is reading on his own at night now. He asked me Thursday what cancer was. I had been waiting for that question. I gave him the four-sentence answer that I have been rehearsing for a year. Cells in the body grow wrong. Sometimes the body fixes it. Sometimes the doctors fix it. Sometimes nobody can fix it. He asked if Daddy's was the kind nobody could fix. I said yes. He nodded. He went to bed.

I sat on the kitchen floor against the cabinets for fifteen minutes after. Then I got up. Then I made tea. The grief is a permanent companion. The kid asked. The kid will keep asking. I will keep answering.

Saturday pancakes. Burned the first. Sean's jersey straight in the hallway.

Sunday dinner at Ma's. Beef stew. The fall kind. Ma uses the cast iron. The bottom of the pot has a story.

Food of the week: Ma's beef stew. The right week for it. The kitchen window fogged.

Ma’s cast iron and her Sunday stew are not something I can replicate on a Wednesday — not yet, not this year. But October has a way of insisting on something warm and savory, something that smells like it means it, and this is what I had in me this week. Oktoberfest Brats with Mustard Sauce. The kids ate without complaint. Henry from group had already taken the stew. This one was just for us, and that was enough.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 25 minutes | Total Time: 35 minutes | Servings: 4

Ingredients

4 bratwurst sausages
1 bottle (12 oz) Oktoberfest or amber beer
1 medium yellow onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
3 tablespoons whole grain mustard
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup reserved beer cooking liquid
Salt and black pepper to taste
4 pretzel buns or hoagie rolls, for serving
Fresh flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped, for garnish

Instructions

Simmer the brats. In a large skillet or wide saucepan, combine the bratwursts, beer, sliced onion, and garlic over medium heat. Bring to a gentle simmer and cook for 15 minutes, turning the brats once halfway through, until cooked through. Reserve 1/4 cup of the cooking liquid before draining.
Brown the brats. Remove the brats from the liquid and set aside. In the same skillet over medium-high heat, melt the butter. Add the brats and sear 2 to 3 minutes per side until the casings are deeply browned. Remove and rest on a plate.
Sauté the onions. In the residual butter and drippings, cook the simmered onion slices over medium heat for 5 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally, until softened and golden at the edges. Season lightly with salt and pepper.
Make the mustard sauce. In a small saucepan over medium-low heat, whisk together the whole grain mustard, Dijon mustard, brown sugar, apple cider vinegar, and reserved cooking liquid. Heat for 3 to 4 minutes, stirring frequently, until the sauce is warm and slightly thickened. Taste and adjust seasoning.
Serve. Place each brat in a pretzel bun or on a plate alongside the caramelized onions. Spoon mustard sauce generously over the top. Garnish with fresh parsley and serve immediately.

Nutrition (per serving)

Oktoberfest Brats with Mustard Sauce — The Fall Dinner That Earns Its Place at the Table