Italian Cream Cake

I turned thirty on March 23rd, 2025, which I had been thinking about for approximately six months with a mixture of anticipation and something that was not dread but was adjacent to it: the feeling of standing at a border you cannot see clearly until you are crossing it. I am thirty. I have been alive for thirty years. The number has a different weight than twenty-nine and I cannot explain why, but it does.

Ryan made a reservation at the Italian place on the North Side, the one we went to the night before the twins were born and which has held that specific meaning for us ever since. We got a babysitter — Patty, who came at five and who was holding Nora when we left and who waved us away with the efficiency of a woman who has been doing this for two years and knows we need the evening. We sat at a table by the window and ordered pasta and a bottle of wine and I had tiramisu for dessert, which I have had at this restaurant twice before and which I will have every time we go back.

Ryan gave me a card and a book, a novel I had mentioned once four months ago and which he had written down on a note in his phone, which I discovered when he handed me the book and said: you mentioned it in November, you said you wanted to read it someday. I said: you wrote it down. He said: of course. This is Ryan entirely. He writes things down.

Thirty. I am thirty years old, which means I have been Amanda Kowalczyk-Szymanski for four years and a teacher for seven years and a mother for three years and a person who makes Babcia Rose's golabki from memory for the rest of my life. Thirty is not what I expected, which is that it would feel like arriving. It feels more like continuing, which is better. The arriving is not the point. The continuing is the point.

The tiramisu at that restaurant is not something I can replicate at home — it belongs to the place the way certain things belong to certain places — but when I wanted to bring a little of that evening back into my own kitchen, I kept returning to Italian Cream Cake. It has the same spirit: rich and layered and a little old-fashioned in the best way, the kind of dessert that feels like it was made for a table by a window with a bottle of wine already half-finished. I made it the weekend after my birthday, just for us, and it was exactly the right thing.

Prep Time: 30 min | Cook Time: 30 min | Total Time: 1 hr | Servings: 12

Ingredients

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
2 cups granulated sugar
5 large eggs, separated
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup sweetened shredded coconut
1 cup finely chopped pecans
Cream Cheese Frosting:
16 oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
4 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped pecans, for topping

Instructions

Prepare pans and oven. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour three 9-inch round cake pans and set aside.
Cream butter and sugar. In a large bowl, beat the butter, shortening, and granulated sugar together on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes. Add the egg yolks one at a time, beating well after each addition. Stir in the vanilla extract.
Combine dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture in three additions, alternating with the buttermilk, beginning and ending with the flour. Stir in the shredded coconut and chopped pecans.
Beat egg whites. In a clean bowl, beat the egg whites with an electric mixer on high speed until stiff peaks form. Gently fold the egg whites into the batter in two additions until just combined — do not overmix.
Bake the layers. Divide the batter evenly among the three prepared pans. Bake for 25–30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let the cakes cool in the pans for 10 minutes, then turn out onto wire racks to cool completely.
Make the frosting. Beat the cream cheese and butter together on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. Reduce speed to low and gradually add the sifted powdered sugar, then increase speed and beat until light. Mix in the vanilla extract.
Assemble and frost. Place one cake layer on a serving plate and spread a generous layer of frosting on top. Repeat with the second and third layers. Frost the top and sides of the cake. Scatter the additional chopped pecans over the top.
Chill before serving. Refrigerate the finished cake for at least 1 hour before slicing to allow the frosting to set. Serve at room temperature for the best texture and flavor.

Nutrition (per serving)

Italian Cream Cake — The Dessert I’ll Make Every Time We Go Back