By Mid-August, and the countdown to Carrie's departure for Kyoto has entered its final month. She leaves September 15th. The date sits on the calendar like a bookmark in a book I am not ready to close — marking the page where the story pauses and a new chapter begins in a language I do not speak and a city I have never visited.
Carrie has been spending time with Mama that feels different from the routine visits of the past three years. She sits with her in the garden. She brushes her hair. She holds her hand and talks — not the short, practical talk of "Grandma, would you like more soup?" but the long, wandering talk of a granddaughter who is going far away and who wants to fill Mama with enough words to last until she returns, even though Mama will not remember the words by tomorrow, even though the filling is for Carrie's comfort, not Mama's.
Robert built a small wooden box for Carrie — the size of a pencil case, cedar, with "Kyoto" carved in the lid. The box is for treasures, he said. Carrie held it and her face did the thing it does when she is moved: she did not cry, she held very still, and the stillness was the crying, and the crying was silent, and the silence was Robert's daughter responding to Robert's love in the way that Robert expresses his love: without words, through wood, through the things he builds with his hands.
I made a feast — the pre-departure feast, the meal that says goodbye through excess. Shrimp and grits, she-crab soup, biscuits, collard greens, peach cobbler. Every Lowcountry dish that Carrie has learned. Every recipe she will carry. The feast was the suitcase she cannot pack, the kitchen she cannot bring, the family she cannot hold in her hands. She ate everything. She ate the way Joy eats: fully, without moderation, because the moment demanded it and the food deserved it and the goodbye was in every bite.
The peach cobbler I made that night was the last thing to come out of the oven, and I watched Carrie close her eyes after the first bite the way you do when something lands exactly where you needed it to. Since then, I’ve been reaching for that same feeling — that last-sweet-thing feeling — every time I bake, and this Honey Bun Cake has become the one that carries it. It has the warmth of a Southern kitchen, the cinnamon pull of something made with intention, and a glaze that soaks in the way love does: quietly, completely, without asking permission. Make it for the people you are about to miss, or the people who are about to miss you.
Honey Bun Cake
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 40 min | Total Time: 55 min | Servings: 12
Ingredients
- 1 box (15.25 oz) yellow cake mix
- 4 large eggs
- 3/4 cup sour cream
- 3/4 cup vegetable oil
- 1 cup brown sugar, packed
- 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
- 2 cups powdered sugar
- 6 tablespoons milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Instructions
- Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 325°F. Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan generously with butter or nonstick spray.
- Mix the batter. In a large bowl, combine the yellow cake mix, eggs, sour cream, and vegetable oil. Beat with a hand mixer on medium speed for 2 minutes until smooth and thick.
- Make the cinnamon swirl. In a small bowl, stir together the brown sugar and cinnamon until combined.
- Layer and swirl. Pour half the batter into the prepared pan and spread evenly. Sprinkle the entire cinnamon-sugar mixture over the batter in an even layer. Pour the remaining batter on top and spread gently to cover.
- Swirl gently. Use a butter knife to swirl through the batter 6—8 times in a figure-eight pattern, pulling the cinnamon layer up into the batter without fully mixing it in.
- Bake. Bake for 38—42 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean and the top is golden brown. Do not overbake.
- Make the glaze. While the cake is still warm, whisk together the powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla extract until smooth and pourable.
- Glaze while warm. Pour the glaze evenly over the warm cake directly in the pan. It will soak into the top as the cake cools — that’s exactly what you want. Allow to cool for at least 15 minutes before slicing.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 420 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 18g | Carbs: 62g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 310mg