Holly Wreaths -- Mom Started the Cookies and the House Smelled Like Christmas

Sarah and I talked on Tuesday. A real talk, the kind that isn't at the table but somewhere more open — we went for a drive, which I find easier than sitting still for hard conversations, because in a vehicle you're both facing the same direction and the motion helps.

I told her I was working on it and that slowly was the word. She said she understood. I said I wasn't sure she should wait for me. I said it because it was honest and because Gary had been asking me to say the honest things. She didn't say anything for a while. Then she said, "I'm not someone who waits well. I need to know that it's going somewhere." I said, "I think it's going somewhere. I'm just not sure how long it takes to get there." She said, "That's an honest answer." I said, "It's the only one I have."

We're still together. The conversation ended without resolution, which is sometimes what honest conversations end with: more information about the same unsolved problem. I told Gary and he said the conversation was right, that it said what needed saying, and that now both of us know the true picture. I said: is that better or worse? He said: it's just more accurate. Accurate is better than comfortable.

Christmas is next week. Sarah is going to Helena for her family. Patrick and Colleen and I will have Christmas here the way we always do. I bought a small pine tree from the Roundup feed store and set it in the corner. Mom started the cookie baking. The house smells like the beginning of Christmas.

Eleven days from one year sober. I'm not counting but I'm counting.

Mom started the cookie baking a few days before Christmas, and Holly Wreaths were always part of it — the kind of recipe that doesn’t ask much of you and gives a lot back. There’s something right about that this year. Not every problem gets solved before the holiday arrives, and I’ve made my peace with that; what I can do is stand in the kitchen while the house fills up with something that smells like the beginning of Christmas, and let that be enough for now.

Holly Wreaths

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 5 minutes | Total Time: 20 minutes + 30 minutes chilling | Servings: 24 cookies

Ingredients

• 1/3 cup butter
• 30 large marshmallows (about 3 cups)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons green food coloring
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 1/2 cups cornflake cereal
• Red cinnamon candies (Red Hots), for decorating

Instructions

1. Melt the base. In a large saucepan over low heat, melt the butter and marshmallows together, stirring constantly until completely smooth. Remove from heat.
2. Color and flavor. Stir in the green food coloring and vanilla extract until the color is evenly distributed throughout the marshmallow mixture.
3. Add the cereal. Fold in the cornflakes gently, working quickly so the mixture doesn’t stiffen before the cereal is fully coated. Stir until every flake is covered.
4. Shape the wreaths. Drop heaping tablespoons of the mixture onto a sheet of wax paper. With lightly buttered fingers, quickly shape each mound into a small ring or wreath shape, pressing a hole through the center.
5. Decorate. Immediately press 3 or 4 red cinnamon candies onto each wreath to resemble holly berries, before the mixture sets.
6. Set and serve. Allow wreaths to cool and firm at room temperature or in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes before serving. Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 85 | Protein: 1g | Fat: 3g | Carbs: 15g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 65mg