Hawaiian Wedding Cake

My birthday. Sixty-four years old. The first one without Earl, which means the first birthday in forty-three years where nobody hands me a card with shaky handwriting and words that say more than their author intended.

I told the family I didn't want a party. I said, "Just dinner. Just us." Denise organized it at the Thunderbolt house because I wanted to be home, in my kitchen, at my table, on my birthday. Fifteen people — Denise and Robert, Kayla, Monique, Earl Jr. drove down from Atlanta (without Carolyn and the baby — too long a drive for a one-year-old), Patricia called on FaceTime because she couldn't make the trip. The table was set with the good plates. Earl's place was set. Nobody mentioned it. Nobody needed to.

Kayla baked the cake. Her first solo birthday cake — a three-layer coconut cake, which was audacious for a first attempt and exactly the right kind of audacious. The layers were slightly uneven. The frosting was too thick on one side and too thin on the other. The coconut was toasted perfectly. I ate two slices and told her it was the best birthday cake I'd ever had, which was a lie and also the truth — the best cake isn't the most perfect one, it's the one made with the most love, and Kayla's cake was dripping with it.

Denise gave me a framed photo of Earl — the one from our 40th anniversary, where he's wearing his good suit and looking at me the way he always looked at me, like I was the most unexpected good thing that ever happened to him. I put it on the kitchen windowsill next to Willie James. My kitchen windows are filling up with the faces of people I love who aren't here. Someday there won't be room. Someday the light will come through their faces and land on the stove and the kitchen will be lit by ghosts. That's not sad, baby. That's sacred.

I said to the table, after the cake: "I'm sixty-four and I don't recommend it." Everyone laughed. Earl Jr. laughed the hardest because he sounds exactly like his father when he laughs, and for one second — one perfect, terrible second — Earl was in the room.

Now go on and feed somebody.

Kayla’s cake — uneven layers, lopsided frosting, and all — put something back in me I didn’t know had gone quiet. A few days after my birthday, I found myself standing at the counter with a can of crushed pineapple and a bag of coconut, because that’s what grief does sometimes: it points you toward the stove. This Hawaiian Wedding Cake is what came out of that afternoon — simpler than a three-layer project, but every bit as full of sweetness. I made it thinking of Kayla, thinking of Earl, thinking of all the people we bake for even when they can’t sit at the table.

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 35 minutes | Total Time: 55 minutes | Servings: 16

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups granulated sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs, beaten
1 can (20 oz) crushed pineapple, undrained
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup sweetened shredded coconut, divided
1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts (optional)

Cream Cheese Frosting:

8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
3 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut, toasted, for topping

Instructions

Preheat the oven. Heat your oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan and lightly flour it, tapping out the excess.
Mix the batter. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt. Add the beaten eggs, undrained crushed pineapple, and vanilla extract. Stir until just combined — do not overmix. Fold in 1/2 cup of the shredded coconut and the nuts if using.
Bake. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and spread it evenly. Bake for 33–38 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean and the top is golden. Let the cake cool completely in the pan before frosting.
Toast the coconut. While the cake cools, spread the remaining 1/2 cup of coconut in a dry skillet over medium-low heat. Stir frequently for 3–5 minutes until golden and fragrant. Watch it closely — it turns fast. Set aside to cool.
Make the frosting. Beat the softened cream cheese and butter together with a hand mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add the powdered sugar one cup at a time, beating well after each addition. Mix in the vanilla. If the frosting is too thick, add a teaspoon of milk at a time until spreadable.
Frost and finish. Spread the cream cheese frosting evenly over the completely cooled cake. Scatter the toasted coconut over the top. Cut into squares and serve.

Nutrition (per serving)

Hawaiian Wedding Cake — The Cake Kayla’s Coconut Inspired Me to Bake Again