December, and the pasteles season begins again, but this year the pasteles feel different. This year every pastel I make feels like a message to the island — I am here, I remember, I am carrying the tradition forward even when the tradition birthplace has no roof. Every banana leaf I unfold, every handful of masa I spread, every piece of pork I place in the center feels weighted with something beyond food. Grief. Pride. Defiance. The absolute refusal to let a hurricane take our Christmas.
I called Mami and asked her if she is making pasteles this year. She went quiet. Then she said, Carmen, I have no oven. I have no stove. I have a propane burner and a pot and I am eighty years old and I am tired. I did not cry on the phone because crying on the phone with Mami makes her worry and I do not want her to worry. I cried after. In the kitchen. Into the masa. And then I made the pasteles and the tears were in the masa and the pasteles were salted by my grief and they were the best pasteles I have ever made because the best food comes from the deepest feelings, and grief is the deepest feeling I have right now.
I made sixty pasteles. I froze forty. I mailed twenty to Bayamon — frozen, packed in a styrofoam cooler with ice packs, shipped overnight because FedEx can deliver pasteles to a hurricane zone and I cannot deliver myself, so the pasteles go in my place. The pasteles are me. The pasteles are my hands and my kitchen and my love and my refusal to let Christmas die under a blue tarp. Ana called when they arrived. She said, Mami cried when she opened them. She said, Mami ate one standing in the kitchen — what is left of the kitchen — and she said, More achiote, Carmen. MORE ACHIOTE. My mother, eighty years old, under a tarp, eating my pasteles and correcting my achiote. This woman. This impossible, immortal, achiote-critiquing woman. I love her beyond language.
Eduardo watched me pack the pasteles cooler and he said, Carmen, you are sending your heart to Bayamon. I said, Eduardo, that is the most poetic thing you have said in thirty years. He said, I have my moments. He does. They are rare. They are perfect. Like the pasteles. Like the love. Like the life we have built in Hartford while the island heals, one tarp at a time, one pastel at a time.
After I sealed that styrofoam cooler and Eduardo carried it to the car for the FedEx drop-off, I stood in the kitchen for a long time — too tired to clean, too restless to sit. I did not want the night to end in silence. So I pulled together what I had: a wedge of Manchego from the back of the refrigerator, some good Spanish olives, a little chorizo, some crackers, a drizzle of honey. Eduardo and I sat at the table and we did not talk much, but we ate, and the flavors were familiar in that deep way that certain tastes always are — warm and salty and of somewhere. This is the board I make when I need to feel like the culture is still here in this Hartford kitchen, still whole, still mine.
Easy Spanish Cheese Board
Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 15 minutes | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 6 oz Manchego cheese, sliced or broken into pieces
- 4 oz Iberico or Mahón cheese, sliced
- 3 oz Spanish chorizo, thinly sliced
- 2 oz serrano ham or jamón, folded
- 1/2 cup Castelvetrano or manzanilla olives
- 1/4 cup Marcona almonds
- 1/4 cup quince paste (membrillo), sliced
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 1 small baguette or sturdy crackers, for serving
- 1/2 cup fresh or dried figs, halved
- Fresh rosemary sprigs, for garnish
Instructions
- Prepare the board. Choose a large wooden board or slate slab. Start by placing two or three small bowls on the board — one for olives, one for honey, one for almonds — to anchor the arrangement.
- Place the cheeses. Arrange the Manchego and Iberico in different areas of the board, leaving space between them. Slice or fan the Manchego; break the Iberico into rustic chunks for texture and visual interest.
- Add the cured meats. Fold or loosely roll the chorizo slices and arrange them near one of the cheeses. Drape the serrano ham in loose folds alongside. The contrast of red chorizo and pale ham adds color.
- Fill in with accompaniments. Spoon olives into one bowl, honey into another, and almonds into the third. Arrange the quince paste slices near the Manchego — the classic pairing. Tuck fig halves into open spaces.
- Add bread and crackers. Slice the baguette thin or leave a small cluster of crackers at the edge of the board where guests can reach easily without disrupting the arrangement.
- Garnish and serve. Lay a few rosemary sprigs across the board for fragrance and color. Serve immediately at room temperature so the cheeses are at their most flavorful.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 320 | Protein: 14g | Fat: 22g | Carbs: 18g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 610mg