Mid-September, and the library's community cookbook exchange has generated more enthusiasm than I anticipated. We have received forty-seven recipe submissions in the first week, each one accompanied by a story that ranges from a single sentence ("My grandmother made this every Sunday") to a three-page memoir that I had to gently edit for the collection but that I read in its entirety because I believe every story deserves at least one complete reading. The project has become the most meaningful thing I have done at the library in years, and I find myself staying late to organize submissions, not because the work is urgent but because it feeds something in me that I have been hungry for without knowing it.
Robert noticed. He said, "You haven't been this excited about work since the summer reading program." I said, "This is different. This is food and stories together. This is what I was born to do." He looked at me — a long look, the kind he gives when he's seeing something he hasn't seen before — and said, "Then do more of it." Two words. Do more. It was the kindest thing he's said to me in months, and the kindest thing about it was that he meant it — not as performance, not as penance, but as a husband recognizing something in his wife that she had been too busy to recognize in herself.
I called Mama to tell her about the cookbook exchange. She said, "You should write a cookbook." I said, "Mama, I'm a librarian, not a writer." She said, "You've been a writer since you were six years old. You just got sidetracked." This from the woman who married a man who told me writing was impractical. But Mama was always the quiet dissenter in the parsonage — the one who slipped me novels when Daddy wasn't looking, who kept a journal of her own recipes with notes in the margins that were part instruction and part prayer. She was a writer too. She just didn't have the word for it.
Dr. Ellis asked me this week what I would do if I weren't afraid. I said, "I would write a book." She said, "What kind of book?" I said, "A cookbook. My mother's recipes. With the stories behind them." She said, "What are you afraid of?" I said, "That the book wouldn't be good enough. That the stories wouldn't matter. That I would spend years on something that no one would read." She said, "That's not fear. That's doubt. Fear stops you. Doubt accompanies you." I wrote it in the journal. I wrote it in the margin of the book I'm reading. I wrote it on a sticky note and put it on the kitchen wall next to the recipe for she-crab soup. Doubt accompanies you. It is the best thing anyone has said to me all year.
I made cheese straws this week — the sharp, buttery, cayenne-spiked crackers that are the Lowcountry's answer to everything: parties, funerals, book clubs, Tuesday afternoons. Mama's cheese straws use extra-sharp cheddar, real butter, a generous hand with the cayenne, and a cookie press that produces long, ridged sticks that she breaks into pieces and stores in a tin. They are the candy of my childhood — Mama made them for church sales, for Christmas gifts, for any occasion that required sweetness delivered in a portable format. I made a batch and wrapped them in cellophane and gave them to my library staff as gifts, because love takes many forms and sometimes the most honest form is a cheese straw from a woman who appreciates the people she works with.
The cheese straws went to my library staff wrapped in cellophane tied with kitchen twine, and watching them disappear from the break room table reminded me that the best gifts are the ones you can eat standing up, in two bites, without ceremony. That same instinct — food as love made portable — is what draws me to candied pecans, another Lowcountry staple that travels in tins and coat pockets and appears on every church table I have ever known. Mama kept a jar of them on the counter from Thanksgiving through New Year’s, and making them now feels less like a recipe and more like keeping a promise — the kind Dr. Ellis would say doubt accompanies, not fear.
Easy Candied Pecans
Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 10 minutes | Total Time: 15 minutes | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 2 cups pecan halves
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon fine salt
- pinch of cayenne pepper (optional, but recommended)
Instructions
- Prep your surface. Line a rimmed baking sheet or a large piece of parchment paper with parchment and set it near the stove. The pecans will need to cool flat, and things move quickly once the sugar caramelizes.
- Melt the butter. In a medium skillet — cast iron works beautifully here — melt the butter over medium heat until it foams and just begins to subside.
- Add the sugar. Pour in the granulated sugar and stir steadily with a wooden spoon or silicone spatula. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes, until the sugar begins to melt at the edges and turns a pale amber.
- Fold in the pecans. Add the pecan halves all at once and stir continuously to coat each piece evenly in the caramelizing sugar. Work quickly and keep the nuts moving so they don’t scorch on one side.
- Cook until glossy and golden. Continue stirring for 4 to 5 minutes over medium heat. The sugar should fully coat the pecans and deepen to a rich amber. You will smell the nuttiness intensify — that is your cue that they are nearly done.
- Season and finish. Remove the skillet from heat. Add the vanilla extract (it will sizzle), then sprinkle in the cinnamon, salt, and cayenne if using. Stir well to distribute the spices evenly across every pecan.
- Cool completely. Immediately pour the pecans onto the prepared baking sheet and spread them into a single layer using two forks or a spatula. They will clump at first — separate them gently as they cool. Let sit undisturbed for at least 10 minutes before handling. They crisp as they cool.
- Store or gift. Transfer to an airtight tin or jar. They keep at room temperature for up to two weeks, though in my experience they rarely survive the first afternoon. Wrap in cellophane with kitchen twine for gifting; they travel beautifully.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 225 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 18g | Carbs: 16g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 75mg