Cream Cheese-Filled Banana Bread

Father's Day. I drove to the nursing home Sunday with sweet potato pie. He ate it without recognition. I sat with him for an hour. The pie was the saying. Calvin sat in his recliner. Calvin Jr. called from Huntsville. Travis came over with Destiny and the kids and we had Sunday dinner here. The Simms men eat. The eating is the saying.

Calvin preached Sunday on the loaves and fishes. The church said amen. I talked to Marcus this morning at the kitchen window with my coffee. I told him the kitchen was holding. He did not answer in words. He does not need to.

Banana pudding Saturday. Nilla wafers layered like sedimentary rock. The custard from scratch — yes, baby, from scratch, none of that boxed nonsense.

I talked to Mama at the stove. I told her the recipe was right. I told her the kitchen was holding. The cast iron skillet hummed. CJ called from Huntsville. The grandchildren — Caleb (1), Naomi — are well. Shanice sends her love.

Sunday dinner held. The table held. The chair was set.

Sunday after service Calvin and I drove past the new sanctuary site. The choir loft windows were going in. We sat in the car and looked. He did not speak. I did not speak. The watching was the prayer.

Sister Patrice's husband had heart surgery this week. I drove a meal over Tuesday — chicken and rice, cornbread, peach cobbler. She cried at the door. I told her, baby, eat the food. The food was the saying.

The garden in the side yard, sugar. The tomatoes are coming on. The okra is up. The collards are getting big. I will be canning by August. I always say I am not going to can. I always end up canning.

The kitchen smelled like garlic and onion all afternoon Wednesday. Calvin came home from his Bible study and stood in the doorway and said, Loretta, what are we eating. I said, baby, you will see. He said, that is a yes from me. He has been saying that for fifty years.

I made coffee at five Tuesday morning. Strong, with cream, no sugar (the diabetes). I stood at the kitchen window. The yard was still in dark. The day ahead was the day ahead. I went into it.

I had a small cry Wednesday morning at the kitchen window. No reason in particular. The grief comes when it comes. I made coffee. I went on. That is how this works.

Calvin Jr. called Tuesday night. He was tired. He had been at work twelve hours. I told him, baby, eat something. He said, Mama, I will. I said, what did you eat last. He said, a granola bar. I said, baby, that is not eating. He laughed.

I have been thinking about heaven a lot lately. I do not know what I think. I know what Calvin preaches. I know what the AME doctrine says. I know what my Mama believed. I am at the age, sugar, where heaven is more than a Sunday school answer. I am working on it.

A young woman from the new members class came to me Sunday. She was nervous. She said, Mother Simms, my husband and I are expecting our first and I do not know how to cook. I said, baby, come to the Saturday class. She said, I'm coming. The chain extends.

My knees were bad this week. I sat between rounds at the stove. The volunteers tried to take the spoon. I would not let them. The spoon is not negotiable, sugar.

That Saturday banana pudding — Nilla wafers layered like sedimentary rock, custard from scratch — was its own kind of sermon, but the bananas left on the counter by Sunday morning were still speaking. I had three going soft and a block of cream cheese in the refrigerator, and honey, when the kitchen tells you something, you listen. This cream cheese-filled banana bread is the kind of thing you carry to a sister whose husband just came out of surgery, the kind of thing you set on the table so the eating can do the saying.

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 60 minutes | Total Time: 1 hour 20 minutes | Servings: 10 slices

Ingredients

Banana Bread Batter
3 ripe bananas, mashed (about 1 1/2 cups)
1/3 cup unsalted butter, melted
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Cream Cheese Filling
8 oz full-fat cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Instructions

Preheat and prepare. Preheat your oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan well with butter or non-stick spray, then lightly flour it. Set aside.
Make the cream cheese filling. In a medium bowl, beat the softened cream cheese and 1/4 cup sugar together until smooth and creamy. Add the egg and vanilla extract and beat until fully combined and silky. Set aside.
Mash the bananas. In a large bowl, mash the ripe bananas thoroughly with a fork — the riper and more spotted, the sweeter. A few small lumps are fine; that’s character, not a mistake.
Build the batter. Stir the melted butter into the mashed bananas. Add the sugar, beaten eggs, and vanilla extract and stir to combine. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Fold the dry ingredients into the banana mixture just until no dry streaks remain — do not overmix.
Layer the loaf. Pour half of the banana batter into the prepared loaf pan and spread it into an even layer. Spoon the cream cheese filling evenly over the batter. Carefully spread the remaining banana batter over the top of the cream cheese layer, covering it completely.
Bake. Bake at 350°F for 55 to 65 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the banana bread portion (avoiding the cream cheese center) comes out clean. If the top begins to brown too quickly, tent loosely with aluminum foil after the 40-minute mark.
Cool before slicing. Allow the loaf to cool in the pan for 15 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack. Let it cool at least another 20 minutes before slicing — the cream cheese filling needs time to set. It is worth the wait, sugar.

Nutrition (per serving)

Cream Cheese-Filled Banana Bread — The Recipe That Said What Words Couldn’t