Chop Suey Cake — The Cake That Doesn’t Need a Reason

Hazel turns three next week. THREE. The girl who put a peanut butter sandwich in a DVD player at Twentynine Palms is turning three in San Diego, and the chaos has only intensified. Birthday planning: small party, five preschool friends, flamingo theme (pink era continues). I'm making a flamingo cake — Mom's vanilla recipe with pink frosting and a plastic flamingo topper. The symmetry with Caleb's dinosaur cake is intentional. Hazel's birthday wish list (dictated to Caleb, who wrote it in his best first-grade handwriting): 'Pink things. Crackers. A kitchen. More pink things.' She has a toy kitchen. She wants ANOTHER toy kitchen. The girl has ambitions. 'Hazel, you already have a kitchen.' 'I need a BIGGER kitchen.' She is her mother's daughter. The cookbook edits came back from Sarah. Light edits — the book is strong. The publisher is pleased. Sarah is pleased. I'm cautiously pleased, which is my version of thrilled. Made a test batch of flamingo cake this weekend. Pink frosting, pink sprinkles, the plastic flamingo from a party supply store. Hazel supervised. 'PINK!' she yelled. 'MORE PINK!' More pink. The Hazel Abernathy creative direction. Applied universally. Made Mom's chili tonight. The January comfort food. The food that doesn't need a reason. Three. The flamingo year begins.

I spent the whole weekend covered in pink frosting, stress-testing flamingo cake layers for a certain three-year-old with strong opinions about the color spectrum. By Sunday night I just wanted to bake something with zero stakes — no plastic flamingos, no sprinkle placement decisions, no tiny supervisor yelling “MORE PINK.” Chop Suey Cake is exactly that kind of recipe: the one you make because you want to bake, not because you have to. Mom’s chili already covered dinner; this one covered my sanity.

Chop Suey Cake

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 35 min | Total Time: 50 min | Servings: 12

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 can (20 oz) crushed pineapple, undrained
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)
• Frosting:
• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 3/4 cups powdered sugar, sifted
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut, for topping
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans, for topping

Instructions

1. Preheat oven. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan and set aside.
2. Mix the batter. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, eggs, crushed pineapple (with juice), baking soda, salt, and vanilla extract. Stir by hand until fully combined — the batter will be thick and wet. Fold in nuts if using.
3. Bake. Pour batter into the prepared pan and spread evenly. Bake for 30–35 minutes, or until the top is golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow cake to cool completely in the pan before frosting.
4. Make the frosting. Beat cream cheese and butter together with a hand mixer until smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add powdered sugar and vanilla extract and beat until creamy and well combined.
5. Frost and finish. Spread frosting evenly over the cooled cake. Sprinkle shredded coconut and chopped nuts over the top. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before slicing to let the frosting set.
6. Serve. Slice into squares and serve directly from the pan. Store leftovers covered in the refrigerator for up to 4 days.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 420 | Protein: 5g | Fat: 18g | Carbs: 62g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 230mg