By Thirty-seven weeks pregnant and I am decorating Christmas cookies while standing at the kitchen counter because sitting has become its own kind of ordeal. The twins are already treating my ribcage like a timeshare, and I have given up trying to sleep in any position that does not involve three pillows and a silent negotiation with my own body. Ryan is on shift tonight, so it is just me, a batch of sugar cookie dough from Aldi, and a cold-case podcast I am definitely too hormonal to be listening to right now.
Patty called at 7:15 this morning, as she does every morning, and stayed on the phone for forty-five minutes walking me through her Christmas grocery list. I told her the ham sounded fine. Matt called from Springfield to check in. Kristin texted a photo of some New York restaurant. I had no opinions about anything that was not the structural integrity of my own pelvis.
Babcia Rose is doing the real cooking for Christmas Eve. I am forbidden from contributing anything requiring me to stand at a stove for more than fifteen minutes. The golabki are her jurisdiction, the pierogi are split between her and Patty, and my contribution this year is showing up and the two babies currently using my diaphragm as a trampoline. Babcia called them strong. I called them relentless. She said that was the same thing.
I made a slow cooker lentil soup this week because I needed something I could assemble in eight minutes and forget about. Aldi lentils, a can of diced tomatoes, chicken broth, carrots, cumin, and a bay leaf. It cost maybe four dollars and fed us for three days. I ate it standing over the pot because lowering myself into a chair felt like a commitment I was not ready to make. Thirty-seven weeks. Two babies. Christmas in thirteen days. We are going to be fine.
When Patty called at 7:15 that morning to run through her Christmas grocery list, I had exactly one useful contribution to make: the ham sounded fine. More than fine, actually — a bourbon glaze over a good spiral-cut ham is the kind of thing that looks like effort and mostly just asks you to stay out of its way, which felt personally appropriate for where I was in this pregnancy. If I couldn’t stand at the stove without filing a formal complaint with my own skeleton, the least the Christmas table could do was carry some of the weight. Here’s the ham I had in mind.
Bourbon-Glazed Ham
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 2 hours | Total Time: 2 hours 10 minutes | Servings: 12
Ingredients
- 1 fully cooked bone-in spiral-cut ham (8–10 lbs)
- 1/2 cup bourbon
- 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
- 1/4 cup honey
- 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
- 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Instructions
- Preheat oven. Heat your oven to 325°F. Place the ham cut-side down in a large roasting pan and cover tightly with foil.
- Make the glaze. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the bourbon, brown sugar, honey, Dijon mustard, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, cloves, and black pepper. Stir and cook for 4–5 minutes until the sugar dissolves and the glaze thickens slightly. Remove from heat.
- First bake. Bake the covered ham for 1 hour 30 minutes, or until an internal thermometer reads 120°F.
- Glaze and finish. Remove the foil, brush generously with half the glaze, and return to the oven uncovered. Bake for an additional 20–25 minutes, brushing with remaining glaze every 10 minutes, until the surface is caramelized and sticky and the internal temperature reaches 140°F.
- Rest and serve. Tent loosely with foil and let the ham rest for 15 minutes before slicing. Spoon any pan juices over the top before serving.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 390 | Protein: 34g | Fat: 14g | Carbs: 18g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 1420mg