Hurricane weather. Tropical storm Danielle was threatening the coast on Tuesday and Hartford got three days of rain, buckets, the kind of rain that floods the hospital parking lot and makes Eduardo's two-mile walks postpone themselves. Not a real hurricane, not for us, but enough of a storm to remind me, every time, of María. Five years ago this September.
On the morning of the second rainy day I woke up at 4 AM and I could not go back to sleep. The wind was rattling the storm windows. I went to the kitchen and I made habichuelas guisadas. Stewed beans. Pink beans, actually — Luz María's preference — soaked overnight, simmered for two hours with sofrito and a chunk of calabaza (pumpkin) that melts into the broth and thickens it, a little tomato sauce, a ham hock for depth, a bay leaf, a splash of vinegar at the end. The dish my grandmother made, the dish my mother made, the dish I have made a thousand times, the dish that is in my hands without my brain engaging.
I cooked them while the wind rattled and the rain hit the windows and the radio in the corner played soft Spanish talk shows — the ones at 5 AM that I listen to sometimes when I cannot sleep, the ones that play in Bayamón too, the voices I have been listening to my whole life — and I thought about María. About Luz María alone in the Hato Tejas house with Ana. About the eleven days of silence. About what I was doing during those eleven days, which was: cooking. I was cooking in this very kitchen, making arroz con pollo in massive batches for a church food drive for Puerto Rican relief, not knowing if my mother was alive, my hands moving through the motions because my hands knew what to do when my head did not.
Mami came for dinner Thursday. The storm had passed. She ate a bowl of beans over rice and she said, "The calabaza is right." I said, "Thank you, Mami." She said, "Is there a storm?" I said, "It already passed." She said, "Good. I do not like storms." I said, "I know, Mami. I remember." She looked up. For a moment her eyes were completely clear. She said, "María." I said, "Yes." She said, "We survived." I said, "We did." She nodded. She went back to her beans. The moment passed. She was in the fog again by dessert. But for those three sentences she had been entirely herself, and entirely with me, in the kitchen, and that is enough for one dinner. Wepa.
The calabaza in my habichuelas is what Mami notices first — it has to melt into the broth just right, sweet and soft, or the whole pot is wrong. Squash has always been that anchor for me, the ingredient that makes a dish feel whole. This wild rice stuffed squash is not the beans I made at 4 AM, but it carries the same spirit: something warm and patient from the oven, built around the calabaza that holds everything else together, the kind of dish you set on the table when you need the meal itself to say what words cannot.
Wild Rice Stuffed Squash
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 1 hr | Total Time: 1 hr 20 min | Servings: 4
Ingredients
- 2 medium acorn squash, halved and seeds removed
- 1 tablespoon olive oil, plus more for brushing
- 1/2 teaspoon salt, divided
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper, divided
- 1 cup wild rice blend, uncooked
- 2 cups vegetable broth
- 1 small yellow onion, diced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 stalk celery, diced
- 1/2 cup dried cranberries
- 1/3 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
- 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves (or 1/2 teaspoon dried)
- 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
- 1/4 cup crumbled feta or shredded Parmesan (optional)
Instructions
- Roast the squash. Preheat oven to 400°F. Brush the cut sides of the acorn squash halves with olive oil and season with 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon pepper. Place cut-side down on a parchment-lined baking sheet and roast for 35–40 minutes, until the flesh is fork-tender.
- Cook the wild rice. While the squash roasts, combine wild rice blend and vegetable broth in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 40–45 minutes until the rice is tender and broth is absorbed. Fluff with a fork.
- Sauté the vegetables. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add onion and celery and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until softened. Add garlic and cook 1 minute more. Stir in thyme and smoked paprika and cook 30 seconds until fragrant.
- Combine the filling. Remove the skillet from heat. Add the cooked wild rice to the skillet along with the dried cranberries, chopped nuts, and remaining salt and pepper. Stir to combine. Fold in parsley.
- Fill the squash. Flip the roasted squash halves cut-side up on the baking sheet. Spoon the wild rice filling generously into each cavity, mounding it slightly. If using cheese, sprinkle over the top.
- Finish in the oven. Return the filled squash to the oven and bake for an additional 10–12 minutes, until the filling is heated through and the tops are lightly golden. Serve warm.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 390 | Protein: 9g | Fat: 12g | Carbs: 65g | Fiber: 7g | Sodium: 480mg