By I told Ryan on Tuesday. After the twins were down, at the kitchen table, the way we tell each other the important things. I said: I have been looking at a master's program. Special education. Concordia, online, two years while I'm working. I would start in the fall. I slid the program information across the table.
He read it. All of it. He did not say anything until he had read everything and then he said: you've been thinking about this a while. I said: since July. He said: since the reading you were doing. I said: yes. He nodded. He looked at the program again. He said: the schedule with the kids — I said: Patty would add a day, I already asked her. He looked up at me. I said: I wanted to know if it was possible before I told you. He said: and? I said: it's possible. He said: then do it.
That was the conversation. He did not deliberate. He did not list concerns, not because he does not have them but because he trusts me to have already accounted for them, which I had, and which he knows, because he knows me. He said: do it. I said: okay. He said: you'll be good at this. Not "you'll do well" or "I think you can" but "you'll be good at this," present tense, already true. I said: I think so too. I held his hand for a moment. That was the whole thing.
I submitted the application on Saturday. The tomato sauce was on the stove, the apartment smelling like basil and August, the twins napping, Ryan at the station. I sat at the kitchen table with my laptop and submitted the application for the Concordia M.S. in Special Education. Then I put the lid on the tomato sauce and stirred it and waited. Whatever comes next, I will find out when they tell me.
The tomato sauce I mentioned was already going, but the pesto was what I’d made earlier that afternoon — a big batch, the way I do at the end of August when the basil is at its peak and I know the season is almost over. There is something about the ritual of it, the smell filling the apartment, that made Saturday feel like the right day to finally hit submit. This is the pesto I make every year when the light starts to change: simple, vegan because Ryan’s been eating that way since spring, and good enough to freeze in portions that will carry us well past the moment I find out whether I got in.
Vegan Pesto
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 10 minutes | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 3 cups fresh basil leaves, packed
- 1/3 cup pine nuts (or walnuts)
- 3 cloves garlic
- 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
- 2 tablespoons nutritional yeast
- 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
- 1/2 teaspoon salt, plus more to taste
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Instructions
- Toast the nuts. Add the pine nuts to a dry skillet over medium heat. Toast, stirring frequently, for 2—3 minutes until lightly golden and fragrant. Remove from heat and let cool slightly.
- Pulse the base. In a food processor, combine the basil leaves, toasted pine nuts, and garlic. Pulse 8—10 times until coarsely chopped.
- Add the oil. With the food processor running, slowly drizzle in the olive oil through the feed tube and process until the pesto comes together into a smooth but slightly textured sauce.
- Season and finish. Add the nutritional yeast, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Pulse a few more times to combine. Taste and adjust salt or lemon as needed.
- Store or freeze. Use immediately tossed with pasta, spread on bread, or stirred into soup. To freeze, spoon into an ice cube tray, freeze solid, then transfer to a zip-top bag. Frozen cubes keep for up to 6 months.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 155 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 16g | Carbs: 3g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 150mg