By MLK day Monday. The kids were home. We went sledding at the hill behind the school. Nora went down five times. Liam went down twenty. They came home with red cheeks and a fight about hot chocolate (Liam wants marshmallows; Nora wants whipped cream; we had both).
Clinic Tuesday and Wednesday: a normal week. Two well-women visits, one diabetic foot ulcer that needed wound care and a referral, three flu shots, one teenager with anxiety I sat with for thirty minutes. The teenager was not my patient. She was her mother's friend's daughter. The mother had asked me to look at her. I did. I gave her my number and a name of a good therapist. She texted me Thursday: feeling better, thanks. I will take it.
Group Tuesday. Bernadette back. The room exhaled. She had us name a moment of grace from the week. I said the teenager texting me. Henry said his daughter calling him to say she had moved into a new apartment without his help — independence is grace, he said. The room nodded.
Wednesday Kettle. Twelve quarts. New high. The parish kitchen is paying off. I cooked with two volunteers from grief group — Lila and a newer member named Joan — and we got it done in three hours. Joan had not cooked in a kitchen with other women in years. She kept saying this is nice. We let her say it as many times as she wanted.
Liam asked me Friday night where Daddy went when he died. He did not mean heaven or whatever. He meant the body. I told him the truth. I told him about cremation. I told him the ashes are at the cemetery in a small marker. I told him we can visit. He said okay. He said can we go this weekend. I said yes. We went Sunday afternoon, Liam and Nora and me. Liam touched the marker. Nora sat on it. I told her not to. She got up. She put a small rock on it instead. Liam said is Daddy here. I said Daddy is in our kitchen on Saturday and at our table on Sunday and in our hallway every day on the wall. The marker is just where his name is written down. Liam said okay. He held my hand on the walk back to the car. Nora ran ahead.
Saturday pancakes. Burned the first. We had been to the cemetery the day after.
Sunday dinner at Ma's. I did not say where we had been before.
Food of the week: hot chocolate. With both marshmallows and whipped cream. Both kids satisfied for once.
Hot chocolate after sledding, a Sunday at the cemetery, pancakes the morning after — this week was full of moments that needed something sweet to anchor them. I kept coming back to chocolate in every form, and when I finally had an afternoon to bake with the kids, these vegan chocolate cupcakes were exactly right: simple enough that Liam could help measure, rich enough to feel like it mattered, and gentle enough to sit beside a week that had asked a lot of all of us.
Vegan Chocolate Cupcakes
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 12 cupcakes
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp fine salt
- 1 cup unsweetened oat milk (or other plant-based milk)
- 1/3 cup neutral vegetable oil
- 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
- 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
- For the frosting:
- 1/2 cup vegan butter, softened
- 2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
- 3 tbsp cocoa powder
- 2–3 tbsp oat milk
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Instructions
- Preheat and prep. Heat oven to 350°F (175°C). Line a standard 12-cup muffin tin with cupcake liners.
- Mix dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt until evenly combined.
- Mix wet ingredients. In a separate bowl or large measuring cup, stir together the oat milk, oil, apple cider vinegar, and vanilla extract.
- Combine. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until just smooth. Do not overmix — a few small lumps are fine.
- Fill and bake. Divide batter evenly among the lined cups, filling each about 2/3 full. Bake 18–20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
- Cool completely. Transfer cupcakes to a wire rack and allow to cool fully before frosting, at least 30 minutes.
- Make the frosting. Beat vegan butter until fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add cocoa powder and vanilla, then beat in powdered sugar one cup at a time, adding oat milk a tablespoon at a time until the frosting is smooth and spreadable.
- Frost and serve. Spread or pipe frosting onto cooled cupcakes. Top with sprinkles, a dusting of cocoa, or whatever the kids insist on.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 265 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 11g | Carbs: 41g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 195mg