Triple Peanut Butter Monster Cookie Bars

Halloween. Thursday this year. Lucas in his chef costume (year three, still fits, barely). Isabella in her witch costume, very serious. Mateo in his cat costume, barely tolerant. Miguel Jr. and Jenny brought them to the porch at 5 PM. Lucas announced to me, "I am the Delgado chef again." I said, "Mijo, you are." He got extra candy.

Eduardo and I gave out candy until 8:30. Three hundred kids by Eduardo's count. We ran out of the regular candy at 7:45 and I pulled out my emergency stash of Puerto Rican candies — besitos de coco, dulce de leche bars, a small box of limber de coco I had frozen that morning as a heat-relief bonus for any overheated kids. The limber de coco went fast.

At 8:30 I closed the door. I poured myself a small glass of coquito. I poured Eduardo a rum and coke. We sat on the couch. He said, "Carmen, you teach a cooking class now." I said, "I do." He said, "And you run the food bank lunch." I said, "Partly. Amelia runs it. I cook." He said, "Carmen, you are working again." I said, "Eduardo, I am not working. I am volunteering." He said, "It looks the same from where I sit." I laughed. He said, "I am not complaining. I am proud." I kissed him.

Friday was Día de los Muertos. I set up the photos at the kitchen table again — Papi, Abuela Consuelo, Héctor. I added a fourth photo this year: Roberto. My brother Roberto is still alive but he had a stroke in September and Luis in Orlando told me last week that Roberto is not doing well. I did not put Roberto on the altar because he is alive, but I thought about him. I lit the candle. Eduardo joined me with his own father's photo. We sat in the kitchen at 8 PM.

Mami Sunday asked about the cooking class. I told her about the second session — I am teaching again November 16, different recipe (pernil) — and she said, "Good. Teach more. Teach everyone." She said, "The knowledge is a debt. You owe it to the next people." I wrote that down. "The knowledge is a debt." She said it like it had been said to her. I believe it had. She is passing through me the teaching of her teacher who got it from hers. Wepa.

After I closed the door at 8:30 and sat down with my coquito, Eduardo said I looked like someone who had just fed an army — and he was right, three hundred kids is an army. The next morning I needed something to bake, something big and generous and a little ridiculous, something that felt like Halloween still living in the house. These Triple Peanut Butter Monster Cookie Bars were exactly that. You make one pan and it feeds everyone, which is the only kind of recipe that makes sense after a night like that one.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 28 min | Total Time: 43 min | Servings: 24 bars

Ingredients

1 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter
1/2 cup peanut butter chips
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon fine salt
2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
1 cup M&M candies (any color)
3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Instructions

Preheat and prepare. Heat oven to 350°F. Line a 9x13-inch baking pan with parchment paper, leaving a 2-inch overhang on the long sides for easy lifting. Lightly grease the parchment.
Cream the fats and sugars. In a large bowl, beat butter, creamy peanut butter, and crunchy peanut butter together with a hand mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add granulated sugar and brown sugar and beat another 2 minutes until light.
Add wet ingredients. Beat in eggs one at a time, then mix in vanilla. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Combine dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and stir until just combined — do not overmix.
Fold in the mix-ins. Stir in rolled oats, peanut butter chips, and chocolate chips until evenly distributed. Reserve 1/3 cup of the M&M candies for the top.
Spread and top. Press the dough evenly into the prepared pan using lightly dampened hands or a greased spatula. Scatter the reserved M&M candies over the top and press them gently into the surface.
Bake. Bake for 25–28 minutes until the top is golden brown and the center is set but still looks slightly soft — it will firm up as it cools. Do not overbake.
Cool and cut. Let bars cool in the pan on a wire rack for at least 30 minutes before lifting out by the parchment overhang. Transfer to a cutting board and cut into 24 bars. Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days.

Nutrition (per serving)

Triple Peanut Butter Monster Cookie Bars — What I Made After Three Hundred Kids and One Small Glass of Coquito