Toffee Brownie Trifle

February 14, 2020. One year.

The carnations arrived at noon. Pink. Perfect. I put them in the blue vase on the kitchen table, same vase, same spot. They looked exactly the same as last year's carnations. Flowers don't know about anniversaries. They just bloom.

I cooked the dinner. All of it. Standing at the stove where I stood one year ago, wearing the apron Earl gave me, using the skillet Hattie Pearl gave me, frying catfish in oil that crackled and popped and sounded exactly the same as it did on the night he died. The lemon meringue pie was on the counter — same recipe, same meringue, same swirl on top. The hush puppies were golden. The coleslaw was cold. Everything was the same. Everything was completely different.

They all came. Earl Jr. and Carolyn from Atlanta. Patricia and Wayne from Jacksonville. Denise and Robert from ten minutes away. Kayla and Devon. Monique and James. Sixteen people in the Thunderbolt house, at the table where Earl ate his last meal that he never ate, gathered to eat it with me, one year later.

I set his place. Plate, fork, napkin, sweet tea. I put a piece of catfish on his plate. I put hush puppies beside it. I put a slice of lemon meringue pie next to the plate. And I sat down at my place and I looked at his plate and I said: "Earl. I finished your dinner. It took me a year, but I finished it."

Nobody spoke. The whole table was silent. And then Earl Jr. — Earl Jr. who sounds just like his father — he said, in a voice so quiet it barely carried, "He would have said it was the best you ever made."

And I laughed. I laughed through the tears. Because he's right. Earl would have said that. Earl always said that. And for one moment — one beautiful, terrible, perfect moment — he was at the table. I could feel him. Not in the chair. In the food. In the family. In the laughter. In the fact that we were all here, eating catfish on Valentine's Day, because a man loved pink carnations and a woman loved him enough to finish his dinner.

The meringue was perfect. The catfish was golden. The circle is closed.

Now go on and feed somebody.

The lemon meringue was Earl’s pie — his favorite, the one I made him every year — and I’m not ready to share that recipe yet. But when sixteen people come through your door and sit down at a table to finish a dinner with you, you need something big and sweet and generous enough to hold the whole room. This Toffee Brownie Trifle is that dessert. It layers and it builds and it comes together into something better than the sum of its parts — which is exactly what that night was.

Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 30 min | Total Time: 50 min (plus chilling) | Servings: 16

Ingredients

1 box (18.3 oz) fudge brownie mix, plus ingredients called for on box
2 packages (3.4 oz each) instant vanilla pudding mix
4 cups cold whole milk
1 container (8 oz) frozen whipped topping, thawed
3 packages (1.4 oz each) toffee bits (such as Heath Bar bits), divided
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions

Bake the brownies. Prepare brownie mix according to package directions, baking in a 9x13-inch pan. Let cool completely, then cut into 1-inch cubes.
Make the pudding. Whisk together both packages of instant pudding mix with 4 cups cold milk for 2 minutes. Stir in vanilla extract. Let stand 5 minutes until set.
Fold in whipped topping. Gently fold half the whipped topping into the set pudding until just combined. Reserve the other half for the top layer.
Layer the trifle. In a large trifle bowl or deep glass serving dish, place half the brownie cubes in an even layer. Spoon half the pudding mixture over the brownies. Sprinkle with one package of toffee bits.
Repeat the layers. Add the remaining brownie cubes, then the remaining pudding mixture. Spread the reserved whipped topping evenly over the top.
Finish and chill. Sprinkle the remaining two packages of toffee bits over the whipped topping. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours, or overnight, before serving.

Nutrition (per serving)

Toffee Brownie Trifle — Something Sweet to Finish What Love Started