Thai Coconut Curry Butternut Squash Soup

January 2020. A new decade. The word "decade" suggests ten years of change, and I flinch from the suggestion because I cannot think about ten years. Ten years of this disease. Ten years of watching Marvin dissolve. I can think about today. I can think about the soup I will make this afternoon and the medication I will administer this evening and the journal entry I will write tonight. Today is manageable. The decade is not. So I will live in today, and today, and today, and the decade will take care of itself.

Marvin has begun a new behavior: he follows me. Not ominously — sweetly, the way a child follows a parent, staying close, maintaining proximity. When I go to the kitchen, he follows. When I go to the dining room, he follows. When I go to the bathroom, he stands outside the door and waits. The neurologist says this is common — it is called "shadowing," and it happens when the person with Alzheimer's begins to experience the world as unfamiliar and clings to the one thing that still feels safe. I am the safe thing. I am the landmark in the dissolving landscape. He follows me because I am the only geography that still makes sense.

This breaks my heart and fills it simultaneously. I am needed in a way I have never been needed before — not as a teacher, not as a mother, not as a cook, but as a fixed point, a reference, the north star of a man who is losing every other star in his sky. The need is exhausting and sacred and I accept it the way I accept the stove: it is hot, it demands attention, and without it, nothing gets made.

I made a roasted vegetable soup — butternut squash, carrots, onion, roasted until caramelized, then blended smooth. A January soup. A warming soup. A soup that is orange and sweet and easy to eat, because Marvin's appetite is changing — he prefers simpler foods now, softer textures, the foods that do not require effort. I am learning to cook for a different Marvin, a Marvin whose palate is simplifying the way his world is simplifying, and the learning is painful because every adaptation is an acknowledgment of loss, and I do not want to acknowledge loss, I want to make brisket, but the brisket is harder for him to chew now, and so I make soup, and the soup is smooth, and the man follows me to the stove and watches me make it, and the watching is a kind of love, and the soup is a kind of answer.

One hundred weeks of the blog. I did not mark the occasion. Some milestones are for celebrating. Some are for surviving. This one was for surviving.

This is the soup I made that January afternoon, the one Marvin watched me make from three feet away, close enough that I could feel him there without turning around. I have been making it ever since — adjusting the spice level down as his palate simplified, leaning on the coconut milk for the creaminess that made it easy for him to eat, letting the roasting do the work of building sweetness so the soup could carry the meal on its own. If you are feeding someone who needs softness, or if you simply need something that will warm you from the inside out without demanding too much of you to make it, this is that soup.

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 45 minutes | Total Time: 1 hour | Servings: 6

Ingredients

1 large butternut squash (about 3 lbs), peeled, seeded, and cut into 1-inch cubes
3 large carrots, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces
1 large yellow onion, roughly chopped
4 cloves garlic, unpeeled
3 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, grated (or 1 teaspoon ground ginger)
1 to 2 teaspoons red curry paste (use 1 teaspoon for mild)
1 can (13.5 oz) full-fat coconut milk
3 cups low-sodium vegetable broth, plus more as needed
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 teaspoon maple syrup or honey (optional, to balance)
Fresh cilantro or a swirl of coconut cream, for serving (optional)

Instructions

Preheat and prepare. Heat your oven to 400°F. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.
Roast the vegetables. Spread the squash, carrots, onion, and unpeeled garlic cloves on the baking sheet. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons of olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Toss to coat evenly. Roast for 30 to 35 minutes, turning once halfway through, until the vegetables are tender and deeply caramelized at the edges.
Bloom the aromatics. While the vegetables finish roasting, warm the remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a large pot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add the ginger and curry paste and stir constantly for about 1 minute, until fragrant.
Add the liquids. Pour in the coconut milk and vegetable broth. Stir to combine with the curry paste. Keep warm over low heat.
Add the roasted vegetables. Remove the garlic from its skins and add it to the pot along with all the roasted squash, carrots, and onion. Stir everything together and let it simmer gently for 5 minutes so the flavors come together.
Blend until smooth. Use an immersion blender directly in the pot to blend the soup completely smooth, 1 to 2 minutes. Alternatively, transfer in batches to a standing blender (cover the lid with a towel and hold firmly). Add additional broth a little at a time if the soup is thicker than you like.
Finish and season. Stir in the lime juice and maple syrup if using. Taste and adjust salt, pepper, or curry paste to your preference. If reheating later, thin with a splash of broth as needed — the soup thickens as it sits.
Serve. Ladle into bowls. Top with a swirl of coconut cream or a few leaves of fresh cilantro if you like. It is good either way.

Nutrition (per serving)

Thai Coconut Curry Butternut Squash Soup — The Soup That Answers