By Jason moved to Fairbanks on Saturday. He loaded the truck at 6 AM — a U-Haul packed with the careful efficiency of a man who has relocated for work before and knows that everything you own can fit in a fourteen-foot box if you're willing to leave the right things behind. He left the couch. He left the bookshelf. He left the stove light on.
I stood in the doorway of our apartment — my apartment now, mine alone — and watched him secure the last strap on the truck. August in Anchorage is still light, the sun generous, the mountains green, the whole state performing its summer beauty with the desperation of a place that knows winter is coming. The light was golden. His truck was white. The distance between the doorway and the truck was twelve feet. The distance between Anchorage and Fairbanks is three hundred sixty miles. The math of goodbye is always spatial — how far, how long, how many miles of highway between one life and the next.
He hugged me. The hug was long and tight and smelled like his flannel jacket and the Ivory soap he uses because he's the kind of man who uses Ivory soap, uncomplicated and clean. He said, "I'll call tonight." I said, "Drive safe." We didn't say I love you because we'd already said it, in the dark, at 5 AM, in the bed that is now just my bed, and saying it again in the daylight felt redundant. Some things, once said, don't need repeating. They just need to be true.
He drove away. I watched until the truck turned the corner and then I went inside and closed the door and stood in the kitchen — the kitchen where the stove light was still on, the kitchen where his keys would never land on the counter again — and I did not sit on the floor. I did not sit on the floor. This is the thing I need you to understand: I did not sit on the floor. I stood. I put garlic in a pan. I heated oil. I made adobo. The adobo is what I do instead of the floor. The adobo is the standing. The adobo is the not-falling.
I ate the adobo at the table, seated, because Dr. Reeves says sitting at a table to eat is a small act of self-respect, and today I needed every small act I could find. The apartment was quiet. The adobo was salty. The stove light was on. I left it on. I'll leave it on for myself now. Someone has to.
This is the adobo I made that morning—or as close as I can get to it in a written recipe, because the truth is I’ve never once measured the vinegar. I’ve made this dish so many times that my hands know it the way they know the shape of the kitchen, the way they knew the sound of his keys on the counter. I’m writing it down now because someone out there might need it the way I needed it: something to do with your hands, something salty and warm and honest, something that keeps you on your feet when the floor starts to look like a reasonable place to be.
Texan Ranch Chicken Casserole
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 45 min | Total Time: 1 hr | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into bite-sized pieces
- 1/2 cup white vinegar
- 1/3 cup soy sauce
- 6 cloves garlic, smashed
- 2 bay leaves
- 1 teaspoon whole black peppercorns
- 1 tablespoon neutral oil (vegetable or canola)
- 1/2 cup water
- 1 teaspoon sugar (optional, to balance)
- Cooked white rice, for serving
Instructions
- Marinate the chicken. Combine the chicken pieces, vinegar, soy sauce, garlic, bay leaves, and peppercorns in a bowl or zip-top bag. Marinate for at least 30 minutes at room temperature, or up to overnight in the refrigerator.
- Sear. Heat the oil in a wide, heavy skillet or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Remove the chicken from the marinade (reserve the marinade) and sear the chicken in a single layer until lightly browned on both sides, about 3–4 minutes per side. Work in batches if needed.
- Braise. Pour the reserved marinade and the water over the chicken. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes, turning the chicken once halfway through.
- Reduce. Uncover the skillet and increase heat to medium. Continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until the sauce reduces and thickens slightly and the chicken is deeply coated, about 10–12 minutes. Taste and add sugar if the vinegar is sharp.
- Rest and serve. Remove the bay leaves. Let the adobo rest for 5 minutes before serving over white rice.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 310 | Protein: 34g | Fat: 14g | Carbs: 8g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 920mg