Strawberry Banana Split Cake -- The Cake That Carries the Ones We Miss

I turned 44 on Saturday. Dave made me breakfast — pancakes, blueberries, bacon, coffee, and a card he wrote himself that said, "You are the best thing that ever drove into my truck stop. Love, Dave." I laughed. I cried. I put the card on the refrigerator. It is still there. It will stay there until somebody takes it down and I do not know who that somebody will be but it will not be me.

The kids made me lasagna for dinner. Amber led, Josie chopped, Tyler grated, Justin stirred. The lasagna was edible and they were proud of it. Justin even said, "We could do this again." I said, "Please do." Dave said, "Every Saturday." Everyone laughed. Then everyone ate the lasagna. Nobody washed the dishes. I washed the dishes. But I was not upset about the dishes. I was 44 years old on a Saturday in August in a kitchen in Nebraska with a husband and four kids and a dog and a living mother and a book half written and a lasagna that my children made and I stood at the sink and laughed quietly to myself like an idiot and nobody noticed, which is its own gift.

The book is at forty-one thousand words. I am over the hump. Sarah said the middle section was "stronger than the beginning." I said, "Is that a good thing?" She said, "That's the best thing a writer can hear." I did not know that. I learn a new thing about books every week.

I drove two runs this week, one to Omaha, one to Wichita. The Wichita one was a long pull — left Monday at 4 a.m., back Tuesday at 11 p.m. — and I made a slow cooker stew Sunday night that would be in the cab Monday and I ate from it both days. Beef, potatoes, carrots, onion, a splash of red wine, thyme. Truckers think I'm eccentric. Truckers are correct. I do not care.

School starts in two weeks. Amber is a senior. Tyler is a freshman. Justin is a sophomore. Josie is a sixth grader at Walnut Middle School, the same middle school Amber attended, the same middle school where the principal still remembers Darla and sometimes calls me "Brenda Wheeler" by mistake, which is strange and not unkind, and I never correct him. Josie is nervous about middle school. She thinks it will be huge. It will be huge. I told her it will also be fine. She believes me because I am her mother and she is eleven and she still believes me without checking.

Gayle came for birthday cake. She wore lipstick. Gayle never wears lipstick. She was 78 and pink-mouthed at my kitchen table eating chocolate sheet cake and she said, "Your sister would have been here." I said, "I know, Ma." She said, "She loved this cake." I said, "I know." We did not say anything else. We did not need to.

Gayle ate two pieces of that chocolate sheet cake, pink-mouthed and quiet, and I keep thinking about how some recipes don’t belong to you alone — they belong to the people who showed up to eat them. This Strawberry Banana Split Cake has been on my birthday table more than once over the years, and it travels well between grief and celebration, which is exactly where August always puts me. It’s cool and layered and a little ridiculous in the best way, and if you’re standing at a kitchen sink laughing to yourself at 44, it’s the right kind of dessert to have waiting in the refrigerator.

Strawberry Banana Split Cake

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 2 hours 20 minutes (includes chilling) | Servings: 15

Ingredients

• 2 cups graham cracker crumbs
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
• 2 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1 can (20 oz) crushed pineapple, well drained
• 3 medium bananas, sliced
• 2 cups fresh strawberries, hulled and sliced
• 1 container (8 oz) frozen whipped topping, thawed
• 1/4 cup chocolate syrup
• 1/4 cup chopped walnuts or pecans
• Maraschino cherries, for garnish (optional)

Instructions

1. Make the crust. Combine graham cracker crumbs and melted butter in a bowl and stir until evenly moistened. Press firmly into the bottom of a 9x13-inch baking dish. Refrigerate for 15 minutes to set.
2. Prepare the cream cheese layer. Beat softened cream cheese and powdered sugar together with a hand mixer on medium speed until completely smooth, about 2 minutes. Spread evenly over the chilled crust.
3. Add the pineapple. Scatter the drained crushed pineapple evenly over the cream cheese layer, pressing it gently into place.
4. Layer the bananas and strawberries. Arrange banana slices in an even layer over the pineapple, then top with the sliced strawberries. Pat the fruit down lightly so the layers stay together when sliced.
5. Add the whipped topping. Spread the thawed whipped topping over the fruit in an even layer, covering all the way to the edges of the pan.
6. Garnish and chill. Drizzle chocolate syrup over the top in a zigzag pattern. Sprinkle with chopped nuts and place maraschino cherries across the surface if using. Cover loosely and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or overnight, before slicing and serving.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 318 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 17g | Carbs: 40g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 195mg