By Valentine's Day fell on Wednesday, which on a cattle ranch means absolutely nothing practical. Mom made heart-shaped sugar cookies, which is her February concession to the holiday. Patrick ate four of them without comment, which is his version of appreciation. I ate two and went back to checking on a heifer who'd been off her feed since Monday.
The heifer turned out to have a retained placenta from a late-season pregnancy — something we'd missed in the fall pregnancy check, or an anomaly. I called the vet on Tuesday, a man named Dr. Paulson from Roundup who's been the Gallagher Ranch vet for twenty years. He came out Wednesday morning and sorted it out. The heifer is fine. The calf is fine. Sometimes the things you miss in the check show up in February anyway, and you deal with them.
I drove to Billings Thursday for my VA appointment and the AA meeting. Dr. Stein asked how the month was going. I told him about the chip. He said, "How did it feel?" I said, "Smaller than I expected, in a good way." He asked what I meant and I said the milestone didn't feel like a destination, it felt like a milepost — a marker on a longer road that I'm now apparently going to keep walking. He wrote something down. Therapists write things down a lot. I've stopped wondering exactly what.
I've been thinking about March. March 8th specifically. Two years. The way the body remembers a date before the mind gets there — you start waking up earlier, start sitting slightly outside yourself, start noticing the specific angle of the light. The body knows March is coming.
Mom made Valentine's steak Wednesday — which sounds more romantic than it is, which is just: she bought ribeyes and cooked them in the cast iron the way she always does. Good steaks. Ordinary sacred evening.
Mom didn’t make a ceremony out of the cookies — she never does. They were just there on the counter when I came in from checking the heifer, heart-shaped and dusted with red sugar, Patrick already on his fourth. That’s the recipe I keep coming back to: not because it’s complicated, but because it’s hers, and because some things earn their place on the calendar by showing up the same way every year without being asked.
Star Spangled Sugar Cookies
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 12 min | Total Time: 1 hr 30 min (includes chill) | Servings: 24 cookies
Ingredients
- 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp fine salt
- 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
- 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
- 1/2 tsp almond extract (optional but recommended)
- For the icing:
- 2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
- 3—4 tbsp whole milk
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
- Red and blue gel food coloring
- White nonpareils or star-shaped sprinkles, for decorating
Instructions
- Make the dough. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. In a large bowl, beat softened butter and granulated sugar with a hand mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the egg, vanilla, and almond extract and beat until combined.
- Combine and chill. Gradually mix the dry ingredients into the butter mixture on low speed until a soft dough forms. Divide dough in half, flatten into discs, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or overnight. Do not skip the chill — it prevents spreading.
- Preheat and prep. When ready to bake, preheat oven to 375°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Lightly flour a clean work surface.
- Roll and cut. Working with one disc at a time, roll dough out to 1/4-inch thickness. Cut into shapes using cookie cutters of your choice (hearts, stars, rounds). Transfer to prepared baking sheets, spacing about 1 inch apart.
- Bake. Bake for 10—12 minutes, until the edges are just barely golden and the centers look set but not browned. Do not overbake — they will firm up as they cool. Let cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely before icing.
- Make the icing. Whisk together powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla until smooth and pourable. Divide into separate small bowls and tint with red and blue gel food coloring as desired. Leave one portion white.
- Decorate. Spoon or drizzle icing onto cooled cookies. Add nonpareils or sprinkles while icing is still wet. Let icing set completely, about 30 minutes, before stacking or storing.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 185 | Protein: 2g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 27g | Fiber: 0g | Sodium: 90mg