Squash Relish -- The Vegetable That Was Always in the Pot

Week 500. Five hundred weeks of this blog. Five hundred weeks of writing about food and identity and adoption and the slow, determined construction of a self from parts. Five hundred Tuesdays (or Wednesdays, or Sundays — the day has shifted over the years, but the discipline has not). Five hundred recipes. Five hundred narratives. Five hundred weeks of becoming.

I am thirty-two years old. I live in a Craftsman in Wallingford with my husband James and our daughter Hana, who is twenty-three months old and speaks Korean and English and asks for doenjang jjigae by name. I run Banchan Labs, a Korean meal kit company with 6,200 subscribers and a kimchi product that sold out in four hours. I have a birth mother in Busan named Jisoo who flew to Seattle to cook in my kitchen and whose hands are on my wall. I have an adoptive mother in Bellevue named Karen who has Parkinson's and makes apple pie and calls my daughter "my girl." I have a father named David who builds cribs and step stools and bird mobiles and who is learning Korean cooking at eighty-two. I have a brother named Kevin who is sober and runs a coffee company in Portland and calls me every Sunday and held my daughter in my living room and said "I already love her." I have Grace, who is sixty-nine and packs my boxes and corrects my kimchi and calls my food "correct" when she means "I love you." I have James, who makes beef noodle soup on my birthday and brought flowers for the kitchen and who says, when I ask if things are going to be okay: "They already are."

Week 500. I started at week 1 with scrambled eggs and loneliness in a Capitol Hill condo. I am at week 500 with doenjang jjigae and family in a Wallingford kitchen. The distance between the two is not measured in miles or years or recipes. It is measured in the people who showed up — in the therapist who said "it's okay to be angry," in the birth mother who said "I thought about you every day," in the adoptive mother who said "you came to us and that's all that matters" and then learned to say halmoni. The distance is measured in love. The distance is measured in stew.

The recipe this week is doenjang jjigae. Of course. Always. The stew that started everything. The stew I cried over in a college restaurant. The stew I have made every week for nine and a half years. The stew that holds me. Soybean paste. Tofu. Zucchini. Onion. Garlic. Anchovy stock. Gochugaru. Simmer until the kitchen smells like belonging. Eat. Exist. Continue. Five hundred weeks. One stew. One thread. The thread holds.

The zucchini has always been in the pot — every single week for nine and a half years, it goes into the jjigae, quiet and steady, doing its work. For week 500, I wanted to do something with it that wasn’t the stew, that let it stand on its own as a small celebration of the vegetable that’s been there all along. This squash relish is bright and vinegary and a little sweet, and we’ve been eating it on everything this week: rice bowls, sandwiches, straight from the jar at the kitchen counter — Hana with a spoon, very serious about it. Five hundred weeks. The thread holds, and apparently so does the squash.

Squash Relish

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 15 minutes | Total Time: 35 minutes + 2 hours chill | Servings: About 3 cups (8 servings)

Ingredients

• 3 cups shredded yellow squash (about 3 medium)
• 1 cup shredded zucchini (about 1 medium)
• 1 medium yellow onion, finely diced
• 1 red bell pepper, finely diced
• 1 green bell pepper, finely diced
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• 1 cup white wine vinegar
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon yellow mustard seeds
• 1/2 teaspoon celery seeds
• 1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Instructions

1. Salt and drain. Combine the shredded squash, zucchini, onion, and bell peppers in a large colander set over a bowl. Sprinkle with the kosher salt, toss well, and let stand for 30 minutes to draw out moisture. Rinse thoroughly under cold water, then press firmly with a clean kitchen towel to remove as much liquid as possible.
2. Make the brine. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine the vinegar, sugar, mustard seeds, celery seeds, turmeric, and red pepper flakes. Stir until the sugar fully dissolves and the mixture comes to a gentle simmer, about 3 to 4 minutes.
3. Cook the relish. Add the drained vegetable mixture to the saucepan. Stir to combine and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, for 10 to 12 minutes, until the vegetables are just tender and the liquid has reduced slightly. Do not overcook — you want the squash to hold some texture.
4. Cool and chill. Remove from heat and let the relish cool to room temperature, about 20 minutes. Transfer to clean glass jars or an airtight container. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours before serving to allow the flavors to develop fully.
5. Serve. Spoon over rice bowls, grilled proteins, grain salads, or sandwiches. Store refrigerated for up to 2 weeks.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 80 | Protein: 1g | Fat: 0g | Carbs: 20g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 270mg