Mama turns eighty. March 28th, 2023. The birthday I did not know she would reach. She reached it. The reaching was the gift. The gift was the eighty. And the eighty was Mama, in the wheelchair, in the pearl earrings, in the blue dress, in the silence that is her mode and her language and her way of being here without being here in the way the word "here" used to mean.
I baked the coconut cake at four AM. Three layers. Cream cheese frosting. Eight candles — one for each decade. I did not light them. The lighting of candles felt inappropriate for a woman who can no longer blow them out, and the not-blowing would have been the cruelty, and I will not be cruel on her birthday. I placed the cake on the table and I said, "Happy birthday, Mama. You are eighty years old. You are the strongest woman I know."
Joy called. Mrs. Patterson dialed, and Joy sang "Happy Birthday" — the full song, loudly, joyfully, the way Joy sings everything: without restraint, without pitch, without anything except the pure intention to celebrate. The singing came through the speaker and filled the kitchen and Mama's hand squeezed mine, and the squeezing during the singing was the response — the body hearing the music, the body knowing the occasion, the body participating in the birthday through the hand and the squeeze.
James and Elise came. Robert set the table. Ruth braided Mama's hair. Gloria arranged flowers. The household gathered — all the people who love Carolyn Simmons, gathered in the kitchen where she sat, on the birthday she reached, with the cake that her daughter baked at four AM because four AM is the time when love cannot sleep and the not-sleeping is the love.
I did not make a meal. The cake was the meal. The meal was the cake. And the cake was the eighty years and the pearl earrings and the squeeze and the singing and the woman who is still here, against all expectation, still here, still reaching, still eighty.
I baked the coconut cake that morning, and it was exactly right for who Mama is — quiet, layered, held together by something soft. But when I think about the next time, when I think about a birthday that deserves fire and spectacle and the kind of dessert that makes a room go still, I think about this Spumoni Baked Alaska. The meringue torched golden. The colors inside like decades stacked one on top of another. The candles, this time, finally lit — because some birthdays ask you to burn something bright just to prove you can.
Spumoni Baked Alaska
Prep Time: 45 min | Cook Time: 5 min | Total Time: 4 hrs 50 min (includes freezing) | Servings: 12
Ingredients
- 1 (9-inch) round chocolate cake layer, baked and cooled
- 1 quart pistachio ice cream, slightly softened
- 1 quart cherry or raspberry ice cream, slightly softened
- 1 quart chocolate ice cream, slightly softened
- 1/2 cup chopped pistachios
- 1/3 cup dried cherries or maraschino cherries, chopped
- 6 large egg whites, room temperature
- 1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
- 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
- 1/3 cup water
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Instructions
- Build the ice cream dome. Line a 3-quart bowl with plastic wrap, leaving a generous overhang. Working quickly, press pistachio ice cream into an even layer along the bottom and sides of the bowl. Freeze 20 minutes until firm, then layer cherry ice cream over the pistachio layer and fold in the dried cherries. Freeze another 20 minutes. Fill the center with chocolate ice cream and smooth the top flat. Cover with the plastic wrap overhang and freeze at least 4 hours or overnight.
- Prepare the base. Place the chocolate cake round on a parchment-lined baking sheet. When ready to assemble, unwrap the ice cream dome and invert it onto the cake layer, centering it carefully. Remove the bowl and plastic wrap. Return to the freezer while you prepare the meringue.
- Make the Italian meringue. Combine the sugar and water in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Attach a candy thermometer and cook without stirring until the syrup reaches 240°F (soft-ball stage). While the syrup heats, beat the egg whites and cream of tartar in a stand mixer on medium speed until soft peaks form. With the mixer running on medium-high, carefully pour the hot syrup in a slow, steady stream down the side of the bowl. Add vanilla, then increase speed to high and beat until the meringue is thick, glossy, and holds stiff peaks, about 5–7 minutes.
- Cover the dome. Remove the ice cream cake from the freezer. Working quickly, spread and swirl the meringue over the entire surface — cake base included — making sure there are no gaps. Create decorative peaks and swoops with the back of a spoon. Scatter the chopped pistachios over the meringue if desired. Return to the freezer for at least 30 minutes.
- Toast and serve. Just before serving, use a kitchen torch to toast the meringue to a deep golden brown all over, paying special attention to the peaks. Alternatively, place under a preheated broiler for 2–3 minutes, watching closely. Slice with a warm knife and serve immediately.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 420 | Protein: 7g | Fat: 14g | Carbs: 67g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 135mg