October. The month I married Ryan in my head before I married him for real (the proposal was October; the wedding was March; but October is when I knew). One year since the park in Jacksonville. One year since the $300 ring and the blazer Torres helped pick out.
The anniversary passed quietly — no celebration, because Ryan is in Okinawa and you don't celebrate anniversaries across thirteen time zones. But he called, and he said, 'Happy one year, Mrs. Abernathy,' and I said, 'Happy one year, Mr. Abernathy,' and we both laughed because it will never not be funny that we share a last name by coincidence AND by marriage.
The baby shower was Saturday. Jen organized it. The support group women came. Twelve deployment wives in Jen's living room eating finger food and playing baby shower games and giving me gifts that were practical and wonderful: onesies, diapers (SO many diapers), a baby carrier, a set of bottles, a baby book. Sandra gave me a handwritten note that said: 'You're going to be a great mom. You already feed people with love. That's most of the job.'
I cried. Pregnancy crying, support group crying, the kind of crying that comes from being seen by women who understand your life because they're living the same one.
Mom sent a box for the shower: a hand-knit baby blanket (she made it — Donna Abernathy KNITS, a fact I didn't know until the blanket arrived, cream-colored and soft and perfect) and a set of onesies that say things like 'Marine's Kid' and 'Daddy's Little Trooper.' She also included a recipe card labeled 'Rachel's First Baby Food' — instructions for homemade sweet potato purée, which is apparently what she fed me first.
Homemade baby food. My mother made homemade baby food during a deployment. While holding a family together. While cooking dinner at 1800. This woman.
I made my own chili for the shower — not Mom's exactly, but my version. Same base (beef, beans, tomatoes, onion, garlic) but I added a chipotle pepper for smokiness and used less cocoa and more cumin. It's mine. A variation. A spinoff.
Jen said, 'This is different from the one you usually make.'
'It's my version.'
'I like it better.'
I won't tell Mom. Some things are between me and my chili.
Seven weeks. The baby blanket is in the crib. The diapers are stacked. The chili is mine.
I brought this to Jen’s on Saturday, and somewhere in the stirring I understood that this wasn’t Mom’s chili anymore—it was mine, with apple folded in for sweetness against the smoke, the kind of quiet variation that only happens when you’ve made a dish enough times to trust yourself to change it. Sandra said I feed people with love, and I think this is what that looks like in practice: starting with something inherited and finding the version that belongs to you. With seven weeks left and a crib full of blankets and diapers, I needed a pot of something warm that felt like it was already home.
Spiced Apple Chili
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 45 min | Total Time: 1 hr 5 min | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 lbs ground beef (85% lean)
- 1 medium yellow onion, diced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 medium apples (Granny Smith or Honeycrisp), peeled and finely diced
- 1 can (15 oz) kidney beans, drained and rinsed
- 1 can (15 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
- 1 can (28 oz) crushed tomatoes
- 1 cup beef broth
- 2 tablespoons chili powder
- 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (adjust to taste)
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- 1 teaspoon salt, plus more to taste
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
Instructions
- Brown the beef. Heat olive oil in a large Dutch oven or heavy pot over medium-high heat. Add ground beef and cook, breaking it apart with a spoon, until browned and no longer pink, about 8 minutes. Drain excess fat and set beef aside.
- Soften the aromatics. In the same pot over medium heat, add onion and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook 1 minute more, stirring frequently, until fragrant.
- Add the apple. Stir in the diced apple and cook for 3—4 minutes, until it begins to soften and release its juices. This is where the sweetness builds — don’t rush it.
- Bloom the spices. Add chili powder, cumin, smoked paprika, cinnamon, allspice, cayenne, salt, and black pepper directly to the pot. Stir to coat the onion and apple mixture and cook for 1 minute until the spices are fragrant.
- Build the chili. Return the browned beef to the pot. Add crushed tomatoes, beef broth, kidney beans, and black beans. Stir everything together until well combined.
- Simmer. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, then reduce heat to low. Cover partially and simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the chili has thickened and the flavors have melded. Taste and adjust salt and cayenne as needed.
- Serve. Ladle into bowls and top with sour cream, shredded cheddar, sliced jalapeños, or crushed crackers. Serves a crowd straight from the pot.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 310 | Protein: 24g | Fat: 11g | Carbs: 28g | Fiber: 7g | Sodium: 540mg
About the cook who shared this
Rachel Abernathy
Week 132 of Rachel’s 30-year story
· San Diego, California
Rachel is a twenty-eight-year-old Marine wife and mom of two who has moved five times in six years and learned to cook a Thanksgiving dinner with half her cookware still in boxes. She married young, survived postpartum depression, and feeds her family of four on a junior Marine's salary with a freezer full of pre-made meals and a crockpot that has never let her down. She writes for the military spouses who are cooking dinner alone in base housing and wondering if they're enough. You are.
