Spaghetti Squash Gremolata

Halloween again. My second since starting this journey. Last year I put gochugaru on pumpkin seeds. This year I'm making hobak-juk — Korean pumpkin porridge, a dish made from kabocha squash (which Koreans call danhobak), cooked until soft, blended with rice flour into a sweet, golden porridge. It's a traditional Korean dessert/snack that's eaten in fall and winter, and the pumpkin-in-October synchronicity between American Halloween and Korean fall cooking felt too perfect not to lean into.

The hobak-juk was beautiful: golden, smooth, the consistency of thick cream, sweet from the squash without added sugar. I added small balls of chapssaltteok (glutinous rice dough) that float in the porridge like dumplings — chewy little mochi-like balls that are traditional to the dish. The result was comforting in the deep, warm way that all porridge is comforting: food for when you're cold, tired, sick, or just in need of something gentle. I made it on Halloween evening and ate it on the couch while kids trick-or-treated outside my building, their costumes visible from my third-floor window, and the hobak-juk was warm and golden and Korean, and the Halloween was noisy and American, and I sat in both, the way I always sit in both, the way I'll always sit in both.

At work, my pod shipped a new recommendation feature — collaborative filtering with contextual embeddings, which sounds impressive (it is impressive) and will be invisible to users (as all good infrastructure should be). The work is good. The promotion was deserved. I am a competent, possibly excellent, software engineer. And the person I am outside of work — the person who makes hobak-juk on Halloween and cries over pancakes in Korean markets and is slowly, carefully, considering searching for her birth mother — that person is growing, expanding, taking up more space in my life. The balance is shifting. Not away from engineering — toward wholeness. Toward being a whole person rather than a person who is mainly an engineer and peripherally everything else.

Dr. Yoon asked me this week if I'd thought more about the birth mother search. I said yes. I said Korea made it more urgent, not less. Standing in Seoul, knowing that my birth mother might be in the same country, might be in the same city, might be a subway ride away — the proximity was unbearable. The not-knowing was always painful, but in Seattle the pain was abstract. In Korea the pain was geographical: she might be here, in this specific place, cooking in a specific kitchen, and I'm eating jjigae a mile away and don't know it. Dr. Yoon said, "You're describing readiness." I said, "Am I?" She said, "Readiness isn't the absence of fear. It's the decision that the fear is worth less than the not-knowing." I'm not there yet. But I'm closer. Korea brought me closer. The hobak-juk is cooling and the fear is present and I'm closer. That's October. That's week eighty-four.

Hobak-juk will always be the dish I associate with that Halloween—with sitting at my third-floor window holding something warm and golden and wholly mine. But squash season is long, and in the days that followed I kept returning to the gourd itself: the way roasting transforms it, the way it softens into something generous and yielding. This spaghetti squash gremolata came out of that same autumnal pull—same squash family, completely different direction—bright with lemon and garlic where the hobak-juk was sweet and still, a reminder that the same ingredient can hold entirely different moods, the way I can.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 45 minutes | Total Time: 55 minutes | Servings: 4

Ingredients

1 medium spaghetti squash (about 3 lbs)
2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
3 cloves garlic, minced
Zest of 1 large lemon
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
2 tablespoons toasted pine nuts
Red pepper flakes, to taste (optional)
Shaved Parmesan, for serving (optional)

Instructions

Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Carefully halve the spaghetti squash lengthwise and scoop out the seeds.
Season and roast. Brush the cut sides of the squash with 1 tablespoon of the olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Place cut-side down on the prepared baking sheet and roast for 40–45 minutes, until the flesh is tender and easily pierced with a fork.
Make the gremolata. While the squash roasts, combine the minced garlic, lemon zest, lemon juice, chopped parsley, and remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil in a small bowl. Stir well and season with salt and red pepper flakes if using. Let it sit at room temperature so the flavors meld.
Shred the squash. Let the roasted squash cool for 5 minutes. Using a fork, scrape the flesh lengthwise to release the spaghetti-like strands into a large bowl. Discard the skins.
Toss and finish. Pour the gremolata over the squash strands and toss gently to coat. Fold in the toasted pine nuts. Taste and adjust salt or lemon as needed.
Serve. Transfer to a serving dish and top with shaved Parmesan if desired. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Nutrition (per serving)

Spaghetti Squash Gremolata — A Fall Squash for Sitting in Both Worlds