Spaghetti Pizza -- The Pasta That Was Exactly Right

September 14th, 2019. Three years since Jess died. I drove to Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Worth after school, the same drive, the same route, the Stevenson and then 294 west to Worth. The sunflowers were in the backseat, nine of them, yellow, purchased Friday at the farmers market by the school. I parked in the same spot. I walked to the stone. The grass was damp from morning rain. I sat down and I was not cold.

Three years. I said: three years and I am still talking to you, which means you are still here in the ways that matter. I told her about Ryan. I told her about the way he read the blog the morning after the wedding, the bar on Western Avenue, the peach toast, the short ribs he practiced twice. I said: I think you would have given him an extremely hard time and then liked him enormously and I think he would have been slightly afraid of you, in the good way that people are afraid of someone who sees them clearly. She would have seen him clearly. She saw everyone clearly.

I said: I am going home to dinner he made. He does not know what he is making yet but he is going to make something. And I am going to come home and eat it and that is going to be good and you are going to be gone and both of those things are true at once and I am learning to let them be true at once without one canceling the other. She already knew this. She has known it longer than I have. I put the sunflowers against the stone and drove home.

He made pasta. His pasta — not the precise thing, just a good pasta, spaghetti with sauteed garlic and the last of the summer cherry tomatoes and olive oil and basil. He had cooked it in my kitchen, waiting when I came in the door. The pasta was slightly overcooked, which he knew and I did not say. I ate the whole bowl. I said thank you. He said "Of course." We sat at the kitchen table and did not say much and that was exactly right. The pasta was slightly overcooked and it was the best pasta I have ever eaten. Both of those things are true at once too.

Ryan’s pasta that night wasn’t a recipe. It was an act. But I kept thinking about spaghetti — the way it can be humble and generous at the same time, the way it adapts to whatever you have, the way it fills a kitchen with something that smells like someone is taking care of you. This spaghetti pizza is what I make now when I want to give that feeling to someone else: the same forgiving base, transformed into something that feeds a table, that invites people to sit down and stay.

Spaghetti Pizza

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 40 min | Servings: 6

Ingredients

• 8 oz spaghetti
• 2 large eggs, beaten
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 cup whole-milk ricotta cheese
• 1 1/4 cups marinara or pizza sauce
• 1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/2 cup sliced pepperoni or Italian sausage (optional)
• 1/3 cup sliced green bell pepper
• 1/4 cup sliced black olives
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
• Red pepper flakes, to taste

Instructions

1. Cook the pasta. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook spaghetti according to package directions until just al dente. Drain and let cool slightly — about 5 minutes.
2. Make the spaghetti crust. In a large bowl, toss the warm spaghetti with the beaten eggs and Parmesan until evenly coated. The eggs will bind the strands into a crust as they bake.
3. Press and pre-bake the crust. Preheat oven to 375°F. Brush a 12-inch round pizza pan or a 9x13-inch baking dish with olive oil. Press the spaghetti mixture evenly into the pan. Bake for 10 minutes, until set and lightly golden on the edges.
4. Layer the toppings. Remove the crust from the oven. Spread ricotta evenly over the surface, then spoon the marinara over the ricotta. Layer on pepperoni or sausage (if using), bell pepper, and olives. Scatter mozzarella evenly over the top. Sprinkle with oregano and red pepper flakes.
5. Bake until bubbly. Return to the oven and bake for 13 to 15 minutes, until the cheese is melted, bubbling, and beginning to turn golden in spots.
6. Rest and slice. Let the spaghetti pizza rest for 5 minutes before slicing into wedges or squares. Serve hot directly from the pan.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 390 | Protein: 21g | Fat: 17g | Carbs: 39g | Fiber: 2g | Sodium: 640mg