Slow Cooker French Onion Meatballs

The funeral was Saturday. The Lutheran church in Grand Island, the same church where Dave and I got married, the same pews, the same wood smell, the same light through the windows. Except this time the light was October light, thinner than June light, and the church was full of truckers. Half the truckers in central Nebraska showed up. The parking lot had more semis than cars, lined up along the street and in the lot and down the block, and I looked at them from the church steps and thought: this is how truckers mourn. They show up. They park their rigs. They take off their caps and they come inside and they sit in the pews and they do not cry, because truckers do not cry, except they do, and I saw it, and I will never forget it.

Gayle was steel. She did not cry at the service. She sat in the front pew with her spine straight and her face still and her hands folded in her lap, and she looked like a woman who had been cut from rock, which she was, and the rock was Nebraska, and Nebraska does not break. Nebraska endures. Gayle endured. She will cry later, alone, in the kitchen that was Larry kitchen too, and the crying will be private, and the privacy is sacred.

I stood at the front and read from Psalms and my voice did not break. I consider that an act of violence against myself. I wanted to break. I wanted to fall apart in front of everyone and let the grief pour out of me like water from a broken dam. But Novak women do not fall apart in public. We fall apart in kitchens, in truck cabs, in the dark, in the spaces where nobody sees. So my voice held. And the Psalm was read. And Larry was buried. And the truckers went back to their rigs. And the road went on.

I did not write for the blog. I did not cook. Dave handled the meals. Gayle cooked, of course, because Gayle is a woman who cooks through everything, who made meatloaf the night Larry was buried because the grandchildren needed dinner and dinner does not stop for death. She brought it to our house and set it on the table and said eat, and we ate, because that is what Novak women do when someone dies. We eat. We feed. We set the table. We say eat. And somehow, impossibly, impossibly, the eating helps.

Gayle’s meatloaf that night wasn’t about the recipe. It was about the act — the putting of food on a table, the saying of eat, the insistence that life continues even when it feels impossible that it should. I can’t give you Gayle’s meatloaf, because that recipe lives in her hands and in that kitchen and in that October night, and it belongs there. But I can give you something in the same spirit: slow cooker French onion meatballs, the kind of thing you put together in the morning and let cook all day while you do the hard work of grieving, and by dinnertime the house smells like something warm and real, and you can say eat, and the people you love will eat, and somehow — impossibly, impossibly — it will help.

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 4–6 hours | Total Time: 4 hours 15 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

2 lbs frozen or homemade meatballs (about 24 medium meatballs)
2 cans (10.5 oz each) condensed French onion soup
1 packet (1 oz) dry onion soup mix
1 cup beef broth
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 1/2 cups shredded Gruyère or Swiss cheese
Fresh thyme or parsley, for garnish (optional)
Egg noodles, mashed potatoes, or crusty bread, for serving

Instructions

Layer the meatballs. Place the meatballs in a single layer in the bottom of a 6-quart slow cooker.
Make the sauce. In a medium bowl, whisk together the condensed French onion soup, dry onion soup mix, beef broth, Worcestershire sauce, garlic powder, and black pepper until combined.
Pour and cook. Pour the sauce evenly over the meatballs. Cover and cook on LOW for 5–6 hours or on HIGH for 3–4 hours, until the meatballs are heated through and the sauce is rich and thickened.
Add the cheese. In the last 20–30 minutes of cooking, scatter the shredded Gruyère or Swiss cheese over the top of the meatballs. Replace the lid and allow the cheese to melt completely.
Serve. Spoon meatballs and sauce over egg noodles, mashed potatoes, or alongside crusty bread for soaking up the gravy. Garnish with fresh thyme or parsley if desired.

Nutrition (per serving)

Slow Cooker French Onion Meatballs — The Meal That Shows Up When Words Can’t