Slow Cooker Chili Cheese Dog Dip

Last week of school. Diego came home Tuesday with a backpack that weighed approximately forty pounds, stuffed with every worksheet, art project, and permission slip from the entire third-grade year. Lisa and I went through it at the kitchen table like archaeologists sifting through sediment. A self-portrait from October in which Diego gave himself biceps. A math worksheet with a perfect score and a smiley face from his teacher. A crumpled note that said "You smell like nachos" — unsigned, which I choose to interpret as a compliment, because in this family, smelling like nachos means you've been near the grill, and that's a badge of honor.

Sofia finished first grade with a reading level that her teacher described as "advanced" and I describe as "terrifying." She's seven and she's already plowing through chapter books. She gets this from Lisa's side — the Medinas are many things, but literary prodigies we are not. My idea of reading in high school was the playbook. Sofia reads at breakfast, at dinner, in the car, and once, memorably, while walking into a door frame. She was fine. The door frame was fine. The book didn't even close.

The twins finished their last day of preschool on Wednesday, which involved a "graduation" ceremony with tiny paper caps that Marco wore backward and Elena wore at a precise angle, like a diplomat. Three-year-olds graduating. I don't know what they graduated from, or to, but Lisa cried again, and I clapped too loud again, and these are our roles and we play them well.

Summer starts now, which means the logistics shift. Lisa's working her regular ER rotations, so I'm on kid duty in the mornings before I head to the school for offseason work. My assistant coach, Terrance, has been running the weight room, which means I can get there by eight instead of six, which means I have two hours every morning of breakfast chaos and sunscreen application and the daily negotiation over how much screen time constitutes a reasonable amount. (Diego wants unlimited. I've countered with one hour. We've settled on "we'll see," which means I've lost.)

Grilled burgers Friday night — my green chile cheeseburgers, except I'm down to my last two bags of frozen chile and I used half a bag, which means I'm operating on reserves. Seasoned beef patties, hot grill, three minutes a side, topped with a thick layer of roasted Hatch green chile and pepper jack cheese. Diego ate his with extra chile. Sofia ate hers plain with ketchup, which I'm choosing not to take personally. The twins ate bun pieces dipped in ketchup. September is three months away. I'll make it. Probably. Feed your people. The game is won at the table.

Friday’s green chile cheeseburgers hit the spot, but with my Hatch chile reserves down to a bag and a half, I’ve been thinking about backup plans — crowd-pleasing, cheesy, grill-optional backup plans. This slow cooker chili cheese dog dip is exactly that: it’s got the chili-and-cheese DNA that makes a good cookout feel like a cookout, it requires almost no effort, and it disappears fast enough that even the twins will find something to dip into it. When September comes and I restock the freezer, the burgers return. Until then, the slow cooker has us covered.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 2 hours | Total Time: 2 hours 10 minutes | Servings: 10

Ingredients

1 lb beef hot dogs, sliced into 1/4-inch rounds
1 can (15 oz) chili with beans
8 oz cream cheese, softened and cubed
1 1/2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese, divided
1/2 cup shredded pepper jack cheese
1/4 cup diced white onion
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
3 green onions, sliced thin, for garnish
Tortilla chips, soft pretzel bites, or toasted baguette slices, for serving

Instructions

Layer the base. Spread the softened cream cheese cubes evenly across the bottom of a 4-quart or larger slow cooker.
Add the chili and hot dogs. Pour the canned chili over the cream cheese, then scatter the sliced hot dogs evenly over the top.
Season and add cheese. Sprinkle the diced onion, garlic powder, smoked paprika, and black pepper over the hot dogs. Top with 1 cup of the shredded cheddar and all of the pepper jack.
Cook low and slow. Cover and cook on LOW for 2 hours or HIGH for 1 hour, until the cream cheese has fully melted and everything is bubbling at the edges. Stir once halfway through to combine.
Finish and serve. Stir the dip thoroughly to incorporate all layers. Sprinkle the remaining 1/2 cup cheddar over the top and let it melt for 5 minutes with the lid on. Garnish with sliced green onions and serve directly from the slow cooker with chips or bread for dipping.

Nutrition (per serving)

Slow Cooker Chili Cheese Dog Dip — Summer Cookout Season, No Grill Required