Slow Cooker Chex Mix

Super Bowl planning has begun, which in the Rivera household is a month-long campaign that rivals the logistical complexity of actual military operations. This year's Super Bowl is February 3rd — the Rams versus the Patriots — and while neither team is the Cardinals, Roberto will watch because Roberto watches every game and has opinions about every play and considers the Super Bowl to be a sacred civic obligation, like voting but louder.

The Third Annual Rivera Super Bowl Cookout is locked in. Our house. Thirty people expected, up from twenty-five last year, because word has spread about the food and people are volunteering to attend. Jessica's colleague Katie and her husband are coming. My crew from Station 19 — the off-shift guys — are coming. Miguel and his family. Three families from the street. And Roberto and Elena, obviously, because Roberto has attended every Super Bowl gathering since 1988 and considers absence an act of treason.

I'm planning the menu now, three weeks early, because I am who I am. The centerpiece: smoked mac and cheese. Not regular mac and cheese — smoked mac and cheese, which means I make the cheese sauce (sharp cheddar, Gruyère, a little cream cheese for smoothness), fold it into the pasta, top it with breadcrumbs and more cheese, and put the whole tray in the smoker for forty-five minutes until it develops a smoke-kissed crust that makes people say things they wouldn't say in church.

Around the mac: wings (two sauces, because you can't have one), sliders (smash burgers, two patties each), jalapeño poppers, and a seven-layer dip that Jessica makes from a recipe her mom sent from Duluth that is, admittedly, the best seven-layer dip I've ever had, which I will admit to Jessica over my dead body.

Practice smoker run this weekend: a test batch of the mac and cheese and a rack of wings to calibrate the sauce ratios. Jessica says I'm "insane" for practice-cooking Super Bowl food three weeks early. I say I'm "thorough." The difference between insane and thorough is whether the food turns out perfect. Mine will.

Sofia update: she's started asking "why" about everything. Not in a casual way — in a forensic, relentless, existential way. "Why is the sky blue? Why do we eat dinner? Why does Daddy cook? Why does Abuelo use a different grill? Why?" Each answer generates three more whys. She's four and a half and she's already exhausting in the best possible way. Jessica says she gets it from me. I say she gets it from Roberto. Roberto says she gets it from God. Elena says, "She gets it from everyone. Now eat your soup."

Here’s the thing about running a thirty-person Super Bowl cookout: the smoker has one job, the grill has another, and you can’t be everywhere at once—especially when Sofia is trailing behind you asking why smoke goes up and not sideways. That’s exactly why this Slow Cooker Chex Mix earns a permanent spot on the Rivera game day table. It goes in the pot, it does its thing for two hours while I’m calibrating sauce ratios and explaining atmospheric convection to a four-year-old, and by kickoff it’s a warm, salty, crunchy bowl of exactly what thirty people want to mindlessly eat while Roberto explains why every offensive coordinator in the league is wrong.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 2 hours 30 minutes | Total Time: 2 hours 40 minutes | Servings: 16

Ingredients

3 cups corn Chex cereal
3 cups rice Chex cereal
3 cups wheat Chex cereal
1 cup mixed nuts
1 cup bite-size pretzels
1 cup garlic-flavor bite-size bagel chips or regular bagel chips, broken into 1-inch pieces
6 tablespoons butter, melted
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons seasoned salt
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder

Instructions

Combine the dry mix. Add the corn Chex, rice Chex, wheat Chex, mixed nuts, pretzels, and bagel chip pieces to a large slow cooker. Toss gently to distribute evenly.
Make the seasoning butter. In a small bowl, whisk together the melted butter, Worcestershire sauce, seasoned salt, garlic powder, and onion powder until fully combined.
Coat the mix. Pour the seasoned butter over the cereal mixture in the slow cooker. Stir gently but thoroughly to coat everything as evenly as possible without crushing the cereal.
Cook low and slow. Set the slow cooker to LOW. Cook uncovered for 2 to 2 1/2 hours, stirring every 30 minutes to prevent burning on the edges and ensure even toasting.
Spread and cool. Once done, spread the mix in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet lined with paper towels. Let it cool for 10 to 15 minutes—it will crisp up as it cools.
Serve or store. Transfer to a large serving bowl for the party. Store any leftovers in an airtight container at room temperature for up to one week.

Nutrition (per serving)

Slow Cooker Chex Mix — The Snack That Holds the Crowd While the Smoker Does Its Thing