January second. The Christmas tree is still up because Mom hasn't given Dad the order to take it down yet, and Steve Kowalczyk does not dismantle anything without explicit instructions from Patty Kowalczyk. The house smells like pine and leftover ham and the specific staleness of a holiday that's overstayed its welcome. I sat at the kitchen table this morning and ate the last pierogi — the actual last one, the runt of the batch that Babcia Rose would have thrown away but I saved because I save everything now, every scrap, every crumb, every last thing that might disappear.
Dr. Perkins on Wednesday. We talked about the plan. She doesn't call it a plan — she calls it a framework, because therapists love a word that sounds structural. The framework is: drive to DeKalb on the twelfth. Move back into the dorms. Meet with Dr. Okafor. Go to class on the seventeenth. Do not leave. She asked me what my biggest fear was and I said, "Hearing a phone ring in a lecture hall," and she said, "What will you do when that happens?" Not if. When. I said I'd breathe. She said, "Good. What else?" I said I'd stay in my seat. She said, "Good. What else?" I said I didn't know. She said, "You'll know when you get there." I'm choosing to believe her.
I made a pot of beef and barley soup on Thursday. Chuck roast from Aldi — $3.99 a pound, which is not cheap but not outrageous if you treat it as four meals instead of one. I browned the beef in Mom's Dutch oven, added onion and garlic and carrots and celery and a cup of pearl barley and six cups of broth and let it simmer for two hours. Barley is the most underrated grain in the Midwest. It's thirty-nine cents a pound. It makes broth thick. It fills you up like it means it. The soup was dense and dark and tasted like something a person with a purpose would make, and I am trying very hard to be a person with a purpose.
Nar-Anon on Saturday. My last meeting in Oak Lawn before I go back. I told the group I was returning to school. Gerald nodded. A woman named Denise said, "Good for you, honey." Nobody made a big deal out of it, which is exactly the right amount of deal to make. I'll find meetings in DeKalb. Dr. Perkins already looked up the schedule. She printed it out. She handed it to me like a prescription. I folded it into my wallet next to a photo of Jess from junior year, the one where she's laughing so hard her eyes are closed. Two things I'm carrying back to school: a meeting schedule and a dead girl's laugh. That's enough luggage for now.
The soup I made Thursday — the one that tasted like purpose — started with a cheap chuck roast and a willingness to let something simmer. If you want to carry that same energy into your own kitchen, this slow cooker beef stew is the version I’d make when I need the house to smell like I have a plan. It’s the same bones: browned beef, humble vegetables, broth that thickens as it goes — only this time the slow cooker does the two-hour waiting for you, which is useful when you’re spending that time folding a meeting schedule into your wallet and deciding what to carry back.
Slow Cooker Beef Stew
Prep Time: 25 min | Cook Time: 8 hrs (low) or 4 hrs (high) | Total Time: 8 hrs 25 min | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 2 lbs beef chuck roast, cut into 1-inch cubes
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
- 1 medium yellow onion, diced
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 3 medium carrots, sliced into 1/2-inch rounds
- 3 stalks celery, sliced
- 1 lb Yukon Gold potatoes, cut into 1-inch chunks
- 2 tablespoons tomato paste
- 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
- 1 teaspoon dried thyme
- 1 bay leaf
- 3 cups beef broth (low-sodium)
- 2 tablespoons cornstarch + 2 tablespoons cold water (for slurry)
- Fresh parsley, chopped, for serving (optional)
Instructions
- Brown the beef. Pat beef cubes dry with paper towels and season with salt and pepper. Heat oil in a large skillet or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Working in batches, brown the beef on all sides, about 3–4 minutes per batch. Do not crowd the pan. Transfer browned beef to the slow cooker insert.
- Sauté aromatics. In the same skillet, reduce heat to medium. Add the onion and cook until softened, about 3 minutes. Add garlic and tomato paste and cook 1 minute more, stirring constantly. Deglaze with a splash of the beef broth, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan.
- Load the slow cooker. Add the onion mixture to the slow cooker along with the carrots, celery, potatoes, Worcestershire sauce, thyme, bay leaf, and remaining beef broth. Stir gently to combine.
- Cook low and slow. Cover and cook on LOW for 7–8 hours or HIGH for 3 1/2–4 hours, until the beef is fork-tender and the vegetables are fully cooked through.
- Thicken the stew. About 20 minutes before serving, whisk together the cornstarch and cold water until smooth. Stir the slurry into the slow cooker, replace the lid, and cook on HIGH for 15–20 minutes until the broth thickens. Remove bay leaf.
- Taste and serve. Adjust salt and pepper as needed. Ladle into bowls and top with fresh parsley if desired. Serve with crusty bread or over egg noodles.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 370 | Protein: 32g | Fat: 14g | Carbs: 27g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 520mg