By Mid-July. The summer doldrums. Nothing dramatic is happening and I'm grateful for it, because drama is expensive and exhausting and I have neither the budget nor the energy. This is a maintenance week — a keep-the-wheels-turning, keep-the-kids-alive, keep-studying week. Sometimes the most heroic thing a single mother does is maintain.
Jayden has entered the "I do it MYSELF" phase. Everything is "MYSELF." Putting on shoes: myself (they end up on the wrong feet every time). Pouring juice: myself (the kitchen floor is now 40% apple juice). Buckling his car seat: myself (he cannot buckle his car seat; he is two; but he screams if you try to help). I'm told this phase lasts until approximately age eighteen, at which point it transforms into "I'm fine, Mom" which is the adult version of "MYSELF" and is equally frustrating but less sticky.
Chloe is at twenty-four books. She reads in the car, at dinner (I had to institute a no-books-at-the-table rule, which is the most middle-class problem I've ever had and I'm thrilled about it), and in bed with a flashlight after lights out. She thinks I don't know about the flashlight. I know about the flashlight. I'm not going to take it away, because a child who reads under the covers by flashlight is a child who will read her whole life, and reading is the one thing I want to give my kids that costs nothing and is worth everything.
I'm at 87% accuracy on board exam practice tests now. Two percentage points in two weeks. It doesn't sound like much, but at this level, every point is a fight. Every point is a late night with a review book and a highlighter and the specific stubbornness of a woman who was told she was "bright enough" by teachers who meant "but not bright enough" and who is now proving that enough is more than they thought.
I made a big pan of cornbread and a pot of pinto beans on Saturday — Earline's recipes, both of them, the kind of food that costs $4 and feeds the whole week and tastes like home even when home is a rental apartment with a fixed window unit and a Nissan Altima with a dent. Some people eat to live. Some people live to eat. I eat to remember. Every meal I make that comes from Earline's recipe cards is a conversation with a woman I barely knew, conducted in cornmeal and dried beans and the specific language of Southern women who fed their families with nothing and made it taste like everything.
Two months until my last semester. The countdown has started. Not on a calendar — in my body. I can feel it in the way I study harder, cook faster, hug the kids tighter. The finish line is close enough to see. Not close enough to touch. But close. So close.
Saturday’s pot of pinto beans needed something next to it — something that could hold its own, soak up the pot liquor, and still taste like Earline made it herself. Cornbread is always the answer in this house, and it fits right in with any of the sides I lean on when I’ve got a pot of beans or chili going on the stove. If you’re feeding a family on a maintenance week and you need that warm, grounding anchor on the plate, here’s exactly what belongs beside it.
Sides To Serve with Chili
Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 25 minutes | Total Time: 35 minutes | Servings: 8
Ingredients
- 1 cup yellow cornmeal
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 1 cup buttermilk
- 2 large eggs
- 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
- 2 tablespoons vegetable oil (for skillet or pan)
Instructions
- Preheat oven. Heat oven to 400°F. Place a 10-inch cast iron skillet or 9x9-inch baking pan in the oven while it preheats.
- Mix dry ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together cornmeal, flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar until evenly combined.
- Mix wet ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together buttermilk, eggs, and melted butter.
- Combine. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until just combined — do not overmix; a few lumps are fine.
- Prepare the pan. Carefully remove the hot skillet or pan from the oven, add the vegetable oil, and swirl to coat the bottom and sides.
- Bake. Pour the batter into the hot pan and return to the oven. Bake 20–25 minutes, until the top is golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
- Cool and serve. Let rest 5 minutes before slicing. Serve warm alongside a pot of pinto beans, chili, or whatever needs something good next to it.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 210 | Protein: 5g | Fat: 8g | Carbs: 30g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 280mg