Savory Grilled T-Bones

Memorial Day. Third in a row since I've been back on the ranch permanently. The river, the cottonwood tree, the thermos of coffee, Derek's name said out loud.

The ritual is established now. I go before dawn — this year at five-thirty — and I sit on the log and watch the river catch the light and I talk to Derek for however long it takes. This year it was forty minutes. I told him about Salina and the grave and Linda's pot roast and her handwriting and the postcard. I told him two years of sobriety is coming in January. I told him the elk chili is right. He would have had opinions about the elk chili.

I cooked steaks in the evening. New York strips over charcoal. The ritual is the ritual and the ritual involves steaks at Memorial Day because the first May I was back on the ranch and trying to figure out how to survive the day, I cooked steaks, and it worked, and I've done it every year since.

My parents ate with me on the porch. Patrick ate his steak without comment, which is his version of contentment. Mom made potato salad. It was the same meal as last year and the year before, which is the point of rituals — the repetition is the point. The repetition says: this mattered last year and it matters this year and we choose to mark it the same way because the marking matters.

Four hundred and seventy-six days dry. Two years three months. I'm still here. Derek is in the ground in Salina and I've been to visit and I said what I needed to say and I'm still here. That's the report. That's the whole of it.

New York strips were what I actually cooked, but T-bones are the same spirit — big, unapologetic, over charcoal, on a porch with people who know enough not to ask too many questions. This recipe is the one. The ritual deserves a recipe that can hold the weight of it, and a good bone-in steak over a real fire can hold just about anything.

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 25 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

4 T-bone steaks (about 1 inch thick, 12 oz each)
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
2 tablespoons butter, for finishing

Instructions

Prep the steaks. Remove steaks from the refrigerator 30 minutes before grilling to bring them toward room temperature. Pat dry with paper towels — dry surface means better sear.
Season. Rub each steak with olive oil. Combine salt, pepper, garlic powder, smoked paprika, onion powder, and thyme in a small bowl. Press the seasoning blend firmly onto both sides and the edges of each steak.
Build the fire. Prepare a charcoal grill for two-zone cooking — coals banked on one side for high heat, the other side left for indirect. Let coals ash over completely before grilling, about 20 minutes.
Grill over high heat. Place steaks directly over the coals. Grill 4–5 minutes per side for medium-rare (internal temp 130°F), or 5–6 minutes per side for medium (140°F). Do not press down on the steaks.
Finish and rest. Move steaks to the indirect side, top each with a small pat of butter, and tent loosely with foil. Rest 5 minutes before serving — this is not optional.
Serve. Plate directly from the grill onto a warm dish. Serve with potato salad or whatever the people at your table have always brought.

Nutrition (per serving)

Savory Grilled T-Bones — The Ritual Holds, and So Do I