Savory Cheese Ball

Cold snap — twenty-eight overnight. Surprising for Seattle. Amazon this week. Sprint planning Tuesday. Two hours of meetings I could have been a Slack message.

Hana, 1, a small loud animal. She mostly eats rice and bananas. Jisoo FaceTimed Tuesday. We made doenjang jjigae together — me in Wallingford, her in Haeundae. Eleven thousand miles. The same soup.

Sundubu jjigae. Soft tofu, kimchi, gochujang, raw egg cracked in at the end. The Saturday night standard.

Drove to Bellevue Saturday. Karen was tired. I brought soft food. She ate.

I FaceTimed Jisoo in the morning. She watched me make doenjang jjigae and corrected my technique. The chain extends.

The shiso on the south fence is fragrant and unruly. I brushed past it taking the compost out and the smell stopped me. The smell is the country. The smell is Jisoo's apartment.

Reading at night. A novel by a Korean-American writer about a family in 1990s LA. I underlined four sentences. The underlining is the marking-of-the-territory of the soul.

Therapy Tuesday with Dr. Kim. We talked about the parents — the two sets, the one living, the one gone, the one who became real after thirty years and the one who was real my whole life and is now gone. The work is the layered work.

I texted Jisoo a photo of the kimchi in the new onggi pot. She replied with the thumb-up emoji and a Korean-language critique. The duality is the gift.

The newsletter went out Sunday morning. The opening sentence took an hour. The piece took five. The piece was what it needed to be.

The kimchi crock was bubbling Saturday morning when I checked. The bubbling is the right bubbling. The fermentation knew what it was doing.

Rain on the porch all afternoon Saturday. The Wallingford rain is its own weather. I sat with a book and a tea and did not move for two hours.

I made coffee at seven. Hana ate cereal at seven-fifteen. Min wandered down at seven-twenty-five. James left for work at eight. The morning was the morning. The standard.

Hana left a Lego on the kitchen floor. I stepped on it at two AM. Standard.

James and I had date night Friday. Indian restaurant on 45th. We ate too much. We sat in the car after talking about nothing for an hour. The marriage is the marriage.

Jisoo sent a photo of the dol the kids did for our visit last summer. The photo went on the fridge.

My Korean is improving. Slowly. Painfully. Conversationally adequate now. I can argue about kimchi proportions in two languages, which is a milestone in any marriage between mother and daughter.

I read a thread on the Korean Adoptee subreddit Saturday. Some posts brought up old anger. Most are people figuring it out in real time. We are not unique. We are a community.

I sat at the kitchen counter at six AM with a notebook and a cup of green tea. Writing time before the house wakes. The pre-light hour is the only writing hour I trust.

A blog reader wrote about her own adoptee experience. We exchanged three emails this week.

David came over for Sunday dinner. He brought some tomatoes from the Bellevue garden.

Yoga Tuesday morning at the studio. The forward fold released something I had been carrying in the shoulder. The mat is the mat.

Sprint review at Amazon Friday. Two hours. I could have been on a podcast.

The Capitol Hill apartment kitchen is small. We make it work.

Sunday farmers market on Wallingford Avenue. The kabocha at the Asian vendor's stall. The shishito peppers. The brokered conversation. We bought too much. We always do.

The Saturday drive to Bellevue, the tiredness in Karen’s face, the simple calculus of bringing something soft and easy — that’s what this recipe is. Not every act of care is a bowl of sundubu jjigae simmering on the stove; sometimes it’s something you can make ahead, wrap in plastic, and carry across the bridge. This savory cheese ball is precisely that: no fuss, no heat required, just something yielding and good that a tired person can eat without effort. I’ve made it enough times now that my hands know it.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 0 min | Total Time: 1 hr 15 min (includes chilling) | Servings: 12

Ingredients

2 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, finely shredded
2 tablespoons sour cream
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons fresh chives, finely chopped
2 tablespoons fresh parsley, finely chopped
1/2 cup pecans or walnuts, finely chopped (for coating)
2 tablespoons additional fresh herbs (chives and parsley) for coating
Crackers, sliced baguette, or vegetables for serving

Instructions

Combine the base. In a large bowl, beat the softened cream cheese and sour cream together until smooth. Add the shredded cheddar, Worcestershire sauce, garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, and black pepper. Mix until fully incorporated.
Fold in fresh herbs. Stir in the chopped chives and parsley until evenly distributed throughout the mixture.
Shape. Turn the mixture out onto a sheet of plastic wrap. Using your hands, shape it into a ball, then wrap tightly. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour, or up to 24 hours, until firm enough to hold its shape.
Prepare the coating. On a flat plate or shallow dish, combine the chopped pecans (or walnuts) with the additional fresh herbs. Mix together.
Coat the ball. Unwrap the chilled cheese ball and roll it firmly in the nut-and-herb coating, pressing gently so it adheres evenly on all sides.
Serve. Transfer to a serving plate. Let sit at room temperature for 10–15 minutes before serving. Surround with crackers, sliced baguette, or crisp vegetables.

Nutrition (per serving)

Savory Cheese Ball — The Soft Food I Brought to Karen