Salisbury Steak — The Kind of Meal You Make When the Grandmothers Are Here

The final pathology was delayed a week. The lab told Dr. Mehta's office that the case was being reviewed by a second pathologist in consultation with a neuropathology specialist. The delay is, I am told, a good sign in one sense — it means they are being thorough — and a neutral sign in every other sense. I have passed this along to the family. Sean's mother, Grace, has stayed with us since Sunday. She is in the guest room. She does dishes. She holds Nora. She has not cried in front of Sean. She cries in the guest room. I can hear her sometimes. I do not comment. She is his mother. She is entitled to her private grief.

My mother came down Tuesday afternoon with a trunk full of food. Soda bread, two lasagnas (one frozen), a pot of soup, four pounds of beef stew, a bag of muffins. She parked the car. She unloaded. She put the food in the kitchen. She said nothing except "where do you want this" for each item. She then made tea. Grace came downstairs. The two grandmothers of my children sat at my kitchen table and drank tea and did not speak for fifteen minutes. Then my mother said "Grace." Grace said "Maureen." They both started crying. Briefly. Neither wept. It was the short, sharp cry of two Irish-American Catholic women who have known loss before and who have come to know it now in a new arrangement. Then my mother patted Grace's hand. Grace patted my mother's. They drank more tea. My mother got up. My mother cooked something, I don't remember what — she had commandeered the kitchen by 3 PM.

I was at work most of the week. Yes, I worked. My clinic patients did not pause. I went in. I did my shifts. I made the calls. I worked through my lunch most days and drove home and ate reheated food and did the kid-time and sat with Sean afterward. Sean continued teaching summer-camp prep for his AP students, which is a voluntary thing he does every August for the kids coming in the fall, and he did it with slightly fewer sessions. He was resting more. Grace was here to help.

Liam knows something is wrong. He has not asked. He has noticed that the grandmothers are here simultaneously, which has never happened before, and he has noticed that his father is a little quieter, and he has seen me cry once (which I am trying very hard not to do in front of him, but he caught me at 4 AM when I came downstairs to get water and he was up because he had had a dream). I held him on the couch. He said "Mommy are you sad." I said "a little." He said "why." I said "I am a little tired." He said "okay. Can I have a snack." I gave him a snack. He ate it. He went back to bed.

Nora is being Nora. She has no idea. She is playing. She is eating. She is saying "wuff yoo" to everyone. She loves the grandmothers being here. She thinks it is a party.

I have not written much in my usual way this week. The page has become a logbook. I will return to better writing when I can. Right now I am moving through the hours. The tomatoes are ripe. I put a plate of them on the table at every meal. Salt, olive oil, bread. They are the best thing in the house. They are what the earth is giving us this week. I am grateful.

My mother brought beef stew and lasagna. Grace did the dishes. Between the two of them, my kitchen ran without me most of the week, and I was grateful for it. But by Friday I wanted to cook something myself — something warm, something plain, something that said sit down, here is dinner without requiring anything from anyone. Salisbury steak is that kind of meal. It is not fancy. It does not try to be. It feeds the people at your table and it fills the house with the smell of something good, and sometimes that is all you can offer.

Salisbury Steak

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 30 minutes | Total Time: 45 minutes | Servings: 6

Ingredients

• 2 pounds ground beef (80/20)
• 1/3 cup seasoned breadcrumbs
• 1 large egg, beaten
• 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce, divided
• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 8 ounces cremini mushrooms, sliced
• 1 medium yellow onion, thinly sliced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 2 cups beef broth
• 1 tablespoon tomato paste
• 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves (or 1/2 teaspoon dried)
• Fresh parsley, chopped, for serving

Instructions

1. Form the patties. In a large bowl, combine the ground beef, breadcrumbs, egg, 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce, Dijon mustard, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper. Mix gently with your hands until just combined — do not overwork. Shape into 6 oval patties, about 3/4 inch thick.
2. Brown the patties. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the patties and cook until browned on both sides, about 3 to 4 minutes per side. They do not need to be cooked through. Transfer to a plate and set aside.
3. Cook the mushrooms and onion. In the same skillet, add the sliced mushrooms and onion. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until softened and golden, about 5 to 6 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute more.
4. Build the gravy. Sprinkle the flour over the vegetables and stir for 1 minute. Add the beef broth, remaining 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce, tomato paste, and thyme. Stir well, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Bring to a simmer.
5. Simmer the steaks. Return the patties to the skillet, nestling them into the gravy. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes, until the patties are cooked through and the gravy has thickened.
6. Serve. Spoon the mushroom gravy generously over each patty. Garnish with fresh parsley. Serve over egg noodles, mashed potatoes, or with good bread on the side.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 380 | Protein: 32g | Fat: 22g | Carbs: 12g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 680mg