Rice Custard — The Porridge That Holds You Together at 6 AM

New Year's Eve. 2023 into 2024. The ER shift. The tradition. But this year I'm counting — not down to midnight but forward, to the milestones ahead. The MSN graduation: next year. The book publication: fall 2024. The Philippines trip: soon, finally, the Iloilo Fund at the threshold, the wish becoming the ticket, the ticket becoming the departure date. The counting-forward is different from the counting-down. The forward is anticipation. The forward is the plan.

Pete and I at midnight. He said, "New year." I said, "Last year." Meaning: this might be my last full year in the ER. The words landed differently than I expected — not with relief but with something heavier, something that lives between gratitude and grief, the feeling of leaving a place that saved you and nearly killed you, the place that was both medicine and disease, both the thing that broke you and the thing that held you together. The ER. My ER. The building where I've spent twelve years of my life, where I've held the hands of the dying and the living, where I've eaten sinigang in the break room and wrapped my jaw in ice and cried in the parking lot and stood at the nursing station at midnight and said: I'm here. I'm still here.

Lugaw at 6 AM. The tradition. The porridge. The softness. Journal: "2024. The Philippines. The book. The MSN. The leaving. The arriving. Start with garlic. End with garlic. The garlic is the beginning and the ending and the middle. The garlic is the everything."

Every year after the midnight shift, I come home and make lugaw — and this year, standing at the stove at 6 AM with Pete still asleep and the Philippines trip finally real enough to have a departure date, I needed something that felt like the word “soft.” Rice Custard is the closest thing I had to that tradition on paper: warm, simple, built on patience and a few honest ingredients. It’s the kind of dish that doesn’t ask anything of you except that you stay at the stove long enough to let it come together — which, on a morning between one year and the next, felt exactly right.

Rice Custard

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 45 minutes | Total Time: 55 minutes | Servings: 4

Ingredients

• 1 cup white rice, uncooked
• 3 cups whole milk
• 1 cup water
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
• Pinch of nutmeg, for serving

Instructions

1. Cook the rice base. Combine rice and water in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a simmer and cook uncovered for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the water is mostly absorbed.
2. Add the milk. Pour in the milk and reduce heat to medium-low. Stir frequently and cook for 20–25 minutes, until the rice is very soft and the mixture has thickened to a creamy, porridge-like consistency.
3. Temper the eggs. Remove the pot from heat. Slowly ladle about 1/2 cup of the hot rice mixture into the beaten eggs, whisking constantly to temper them. Pour the tempered egg mixture back into the pot and stir to combine.
4. Sweeten and finish. Return the pot to low heat. Stir in the sugar, vanilla extract, salt, cinnamon, and butter. Cook for 5 more minutes, stirring gently, until the custard thickens slightly and the sugar is fully dissolved. Do not boil.
5. Rest and serve. Remove from heat and let sit for 5 minutes — the custard will continue to thicken as it rests. Spoon into bowls and finish with a pinch of nutmeg. Serve warm.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 320 | Protein: 10g | Fat: 9g | Carbs: 49g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 210mg