Reuben Breakfast Sandwich on Pumpernickel English Muffins

Father's Day, and Marvin is in his chair, and David is on the phone, and the conversation between them is the same conversation they have had every week for three years: David asking how Marvin is, Marvin saying he's fine, David saying he loves him, Marvin saying he loves David too. The words are automatic now — they come from a place below consciousness, below the disease, from the foundational code of father-and-son that was written before the virus entered the system and corrupted the files. "I love you, Pop." "I love you too, David." The exchange is script. The script is true. The truth of a script does not diminish with repetition. If anything, the repetition sanctifies it.

The milestone this week, the one I will mark in the journal: Marvin did not recognize Jennifer. She came with the children on Sunday — Father's Day — and Marvin looked at her and said, "Who is this woman?" Not with hostility. With genuine curiosity. Jennifer, who has been my daughter-in-law for thirteen years, who has sat at my table a hundred times, who has given me four grandchildren — Marvin looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. Jennifer handled it. Jennifer is grace. She said, "I'm Jennifer, David's wife," and Marvin said, "David has a wife?" and Jennifer said, "Yes, and four beautiful children," and Marvin looked at the children and smiled and said, "Beautiful children," and David left the room.

I found David in the hallway, fists clenched, jaw tight. The doctor composure, cracking. I put my hand on his arm. I did not say anything. What is there to say? Your father has forgotten your wife. Your father is forgetting the architecture of your life, piece by piece, room by room. The forgetting is not malicious. The forgetting is the disease. But the forgetting hurts as if it were malicious, as if the disease were choosing what to take next for maximum damage, and the damage is not the forgetting — the damage is the moment David's face became the face of a man watching his father disappear.

I made brisket. I always make brisket on Father's Day. The brisket is the answer to every question I cannot answer with words. The brisket is: I am here. You are loved. The food is real even when nothing else is. Eat.

The brisket I make on Father’s Day takes hours, and some mornings the hours are all you have — the long, slow cooking that asks nothing of you except presence. This Reuben Breakfast Sandwich on Pumpernickel English Muffins is what I make the morning after, when there are leftovers of corned beef and grief in equal measure, and the children are still sleeping, and I need something that tastes like the food I grew up with, the food that says: we are still here, we are still a family, the table is still set. The pumpernickel is dark and sturdy. The corned beef is tender. That combination has never once failed me.

Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 12 minutes | Total Time: 22 minutes | Servings: 2

Ingredients

2 pumpernickel English muffins, split
4 oz thinly sliced corned beef
1/2 cup sauerkraut, well drained
4 slices Swiss cheese
3 tablespoons Thousand Island dressing
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 teaspoon olive oil
Salt and freshly cracked black pepper, to taste
Fresh chives or flat-leaf parsley, for garnish (optional)

Instructions

Toast the muffins. Split the pumpernickel English muffins and toast them in a toaster or under the broiler for 2—3 minutes, until the edges are firm and slightly crisp. Set aside on a baking sheet.
Warm the corned beef and sauerkraut. In a small skillet over medium-low heat, add the olive oil. Add the sliced corned beef and drained sauerkraut together and warm through, stirring gently, about 3—4 minutes. Season lightly with black pepper.
Melt the cheese. Divide the corned beef and sauerkraut mixture evenly over the bottom halves of the toasted muffins. Lay 2 slices of Swiss cheese over each. Place the baking sheet under the broiler for 1—2 minutes, until the cheese is melted and just beginning to bubble. Watch carefully.
Fry the eggs. In a nonstick skillet over medium heat, melt the butter. Crack in the eggs and fry to your preference — sunny-side up for a runny yolk that sauces the sandwich, or over-easy for something tidier. Season with salt and pepper.
Assemble the sandwiches. Spread Thousand Island dressing on the top halves of the muffins. Slide a fried egg onto the cheese-and-corned-beef base of each sandwich. Cap with the dressed top half. Garnish with chives or parsley if desired. Serve immediately while the cheese is still warm.

Nutrition (per serving)

Reuben Breakfast Sandwich on Pumpernickel English Muffins — The Corned Beef That Carries What Words Cannot