There's a virus. I've been reading about it — a nurse reads medical news the way a fisherman reads weather, reflexively, constantly. A respiratory virus, emerging from China, spreading. COVID-19. The news is distant, concerning, not yet real in Duluth. Not yet.
But I'm a nurse. And my husband is on a ventilator with compromised breathing at forty-three percent. And a respiratory virus is the thing that could — I won't finish that sentence. I'll say this: I started being more careful. Hand washing. Visitor protocols. The things I know from thirty-three years of infection control.
Elsa noticed. "You're wiping the doorknobs, Mom." I said, "There's a virus." She said, "In China." I said, "Viruses don't stay in China." She looked at me. She understood. The virus isn't about China. The virus is about Paul's lungs. The virus is about the forty-three percent that's all he has.
The week was otherwise quiet. The hospice routine. Margaret on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Karen every morning. Elsa three evenings. Me, always. The house runs like a small hospital now — schedules posted on the refrigerator, medication times noted, equipment maintenance logged. The nurse in me has turned the home into a clinical environment, and the wife in me hates it, and both of me are right.
Paul's communication is almost entirely eyes now. He can still use the eye-tracker for single words — YES. NO. BREAD. LOVE. LAKE. — but the effort costs him, and many conversations are conducted through the ancient language of eyes meeting eyes. I ask a question. He looks at me. The look is the answer. After thirty-two years of marriage, I can read his eyes better than any machine can.
"Are you comfortable?" Look: yes.
"Do you want me to read?" Look: yes.
"Shipwreck book?" Look: slight movement right — the look that means: something else.
"The Swedish novel?" Look: yes. The eyes settling. The answer found.
I read to him every night. The Swedish novel about the fisherman's wife. The wife is waiting for the boat. The boat is on the sea. The sea is enormous and indifferent. The wife knows the sea doesn't care about her or the boat or the man on the boat. She waits anyway.
I read. The hiss. The beep. The story. The waiting.
I made soup for the Damiano Center on Thursday. Wild rice. Fifty gallons. Gerald was there. He said, "Good soup today, Linda." I said, "Same soup every week, Gerald." He said, "I know. It's always good."
Always good. Same soup. Always good.
The virus is spreading. The lake is frozen. The man I love is at forty-three percent. The soup is always good.
I wipe the doorknobs. I wash my hands. I read the novel. I wait.
The wild rice was for fifty gallons at the Damiano Center — that’s a different kind of cooking, the kind that moves in industrial pots and feeds a crowd. What I make at home, when I need something steady under my hands and something warm going into the house, is this red potato soup. It’s not complicated, and that’s the point. When the doorknobs have been wiped and the medication log is updated and the novel is bookmarked and there’s nothing left to do but wait, a pot of potato soup on the stove is the thing that makes the kitchen feel like a kitchen again, not a ward. Gerald would probably say it’s always good. He’d be right.
Red Potato Soup
Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 35 minutes | Total Time: 50 minutes | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 2 lbs red potatoes, scrubbed and cut into 3/4-inch cubes (skins on)
- 1 medium yellow onion, diced
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
- 1 cup whole milk
- 1/2 cup sour cream
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 3 strips bacon, cooked and crumbled (optional, for topping)
- 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (for topping)
- 2 tablespoons sliced green onions (for topping)
Instructions
- Soften the aromatics. In a large heavy-bottomed pot, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute more.
- Build the base. Sprinkle the flour over the onion mixture and stir to coat, cooking for 1–2 minutes to eliminate the raw flour taste. The mixture will look thick and paste-like — that’s right.
- Add broth and potatoes. Slowly pour in the chicken broth while stirring to prevent lumps. Add the cubed potatoes, salt, pepper, and smoked paprika. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, then reduce to a steady simmer.
- Cook until tender. Simmer uncovered for 18–22 minutes, until the potatoes are completely fork-tender. The broth will thicken as it cooks.
- Mash lightly. Use a potato masher or the back of a wooden spoon to roughly mash about one-third of the potatoes directly in the pot. This thickens the soup and gives it body while keeping plenty of whole chunks.
- Finish with dairy. Reduce the heat to low. Stir in the milk and sour cream until fully incorporated. Heat gently for 3–4 minutes — do not boil after adding the sour cream or it may separate. Taste and adjust salt as needed.
- Serve. Ladle into bowls and top with shredded cheddar, crumbled bacon if using, and green onions. Serve with buttered bread or crackers.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 295 | Protein: 9g | Fat: 13g | Carbs: 36g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 590mg
About the cook who shared this
Linda Johansson
Week 199 of Linda’s 30-year story
· Duluth, Minnesota
Linda is a sixty-three-year-old retired nurse from Duluth, Minnesota, living alone in the house where she raised her children and said goodbye to her husband. She lost Paul to ALS in 2020 after two years of watching the kindest man she'd ever known lose everything but his dignity. She cooks Scandinavian comfort food and Minnesota hotdish and the pot roast Paul loved, and she sets two places at the table out of habit because it makes her feel less alone. Every recipe she writes is a person she's loved.