Quesadillas With Raw Vegan Taco Nut

I met with my academic advisor at Nashville State this week. Her name is Dr. Coleman, and she's a small woman with glasses and the kind of calm that made me immediately trust her. She looked at my file — the 2.8 GPA from Antioch High, the six-year gap, the Pell Grant — and she didn't flinch. She said, "You're not the first person to come back, and you won't be the last. Let's make a plan."

A plan. Someone wants to make a plan with me. For most of my life, the plan has been: survive the day. Get to tomorrow. Don't bounce a check. Make sure the kids eat. Dr. Coleman wants to talk about semesters and prerequisites and clinical rotations. She wants to talk about where I'll be in two years. Two years. Denise at the Waffle House said two years. Dr. Coleman says two years. Two years is the distance between here and a different life, and I'm going to walk it.

The schedule is going to be brutal. Work mornings: 7 AM to 3 PM at Waffle House. Home by 3:30. Kids time until 5:30. Class: 6 PM to 9 PM, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. Mama picks up the kids at 5:30 on class nights and keeps them until I get home at 9:30. I will see my children for approximately two waking hours on school days. The math is cruel. The math is also the only way forward.

Chloe doesn't understand why Mama is going to school. She said, "But you're already big." I said, "Big people go to school too." She said, "Why?" I said, "So I can have a better job and buy you the name-brand goldfish crackers." She said, "OKAY." Motivation: achieved.

I made a taco night this week. Ground beef from Kroger (sale), taco seasoning from a packet, shredded cheese, lettuce, sour cream, those hard shells that break the second you bite them so everything falls in your lap. I set it all out on the counter like a little buffet and Chloe built her own taco with the concentration of a woman assembling a nuclear device. She put cheese, lettuce, cheese, sour cream, and then more cheese. No meat. "I don't like the brown stuff," she said. The brown stuff is seasoned ground beef, Chloe. It's the whole point. But she ate her cheese-lettuce-cheese taco and was happy, and I ate three tacos standing at the counter and Jayden ate ground beef with his hands and everybody was fed and nobody was fighting and that is a successful taco night by any measure.

Three weeks until school. I'm reading the textbook at night after the kids go down. My eyes burn by 11 PM but I keep going because Sarah Mitchell does not stop. She has never stopped. She is not going to start stopping now.

After watching Chloe engineer a taco with zero meat and approximately four layers of cheese, I figured I should stop fighting her on “the brown stuff” and find something she’d actually build her own taco around. That’s how I landed on these quesadillas — the walnut filling looks enough like taco meat that Jayden ate it with his hands (his highest form of praise), and Chloe got the cheesy fold-over situation she’s been angling for all along. On a night when I have ninety minutes between walking in the door and leaving for class, a skillet quesadilla that the kids will actually eat without negotiation is worth its weight in gold.

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 30 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups raw walnuts
2 tablespoons soy sauce or tamari
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1 tablespoon olive oil
8 large flour tortillas
2 cups shredded Mexican blend cheese (or dairy-free shreds)
1/2 cup shredded lettuce, for serving
1/4 cup sour cream or vegan sour cream, for serving
1/4 cup salsa, for serving
Cooking spray or butter for the skillet

Instructions

Make the taco nut filling. Add walnuts to a food processor and pulse 8—10 times until they are crumbled into small, coarse pieces roughly the size of ground meat. Do not over-process into a paste.
Season the filling. Transfer the crumbled walnuts to a bowl. Add soy sauce, chili powder, cumin, smoked paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, and olive oil. Stir well until every piece is coated evenly. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed.
Heat your skillet. Place a large non-stick skillet or griddle over medium heat. Lightly coat with cooking spray or a small pat of butter.
Assemble the quesadillas. Lay one tortilla flat in the skillet. Sprinkle 1/4 cup of cheese over the entire surface, then spoon 3—4 tablespoons of the walnut taco filling over one half. Fold the other half over to close.
Cook until golden. Cook for 2—3 minutes per side, pressing gently with a spatula, until the tortilla is golden brown and the cheese is fully melted. Repeat with remaining tortillas.
Slice and serve. Cut each quesadilla into 3 wedges with a pizza cutter or sharp knife. Arrange on a plate and set out shredded lettuce, sour cream, and salsa on the side so everyone can build their own.

Nutrition (per serving)

Quesadillas With Raw Vegan Taco Nut — Because Chloe Won’t Eat “The Brown Stuff” Anyway