By October is coming and with it the specific energy of fall teaching, which is different from fall in other professions: the parents have settled into the school year, the students have stopped testing the boundaries in the exploratory way and have started testing them in the purposeful way, which means we are in the work now. I have three students who need IEP meetings before October 15th. I have my planning done through Thanksgiving. I have my own rhythm.
The grief is still present and has settled into the background in the way that grief settles when it is real and large and going to be there for a long time: not urgent, not debilitating, but a layer that is always there when I look for it, and sometimes there when I do not look for it. I made the golabki from the notebook on Sunday and they were the best I have made. I called Patty and told her and she said "I knew you'd get it" and I said "I'm not there yet" and she said "you're closer than you think."
The twins are twenty months and the toddler phase has become fully itself: opinions, autonomy, feelings larger than language, the particular joy of a child who has just understood something new and needs to share it with everyone in the room immediately. Owen understood this week that the apple he holds and the apple in his bowl are the same thing, and he brought his held apple to show me the apple in his bowl with the expression of someone who has made a discovery worth reporting. I said "yes, they're both apples." He said "apple" three times. Filed it. Moved on.
Apple crisp on Saturday: Aldi baking apples, brown sugar, butter, oats, cinnamon. We ate it warm from the pan on Sunday morning and both babies had some in their bowls, the soft apple part, and Owen said "more apple" and I said yes, always, yes.
Owen filing “apple” and moving on is the most October thing I’ve ever witnessed, and it put me in the mood to lean into the season the rest of the way—not just the apples but the pumpkin, the warmth, the small fried things that fill a kitchen with the specific smell of a Saturday that is going well. These pumpkin doughnut drops came together fast, which is what I needed, and they were the kind of thing you can eat standing at the counter while two toddlers watch with very serious opinions about whether they are getting some. They are getting some. The answer is always yes.
Pumpkin Doughnut Drops
Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 20 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 36 drops
Ingredients
- 1 cup canned pumpkin puree
- 2 large eggs
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
- 1/4 cup whole milk
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- Vegetable oil, for frying (about 3 cups)
- For coating: 1/2 cup granulated sugar + 1 teaspoon cinnamon
Instructions
- Mix wet ingredients. In a large bowl, whisk together the pumpkin puree, eggs, granulated sugar, brown sugar, milk, melted butter, and vanilla until smooth and well combined.
- Combine dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and salt.
- Make the batter. Fold the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, stirring just until no dry streaks remain. The batter will be thick and slightly sticky—do not overmix.
- Heat the oil. Pour vegetable oil into a heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven to a depth of about 2 inches. Heat over medium to 350°F, checking with a candy or instant-read thermometer.
- Fry the drops. Using a small cookie scoop or two spoons, carefully drop rounded tablespoons of batter into the hot oil, working in batches of 6–8. Fry 2–3 minutes, turning once, until deep golden brown on all sides.
- Drain. Remove with a slotted spoon and transfer to a paper towel–lined plate. Let cool for 1–2 minutes.
- Coat in cinnamon sugar. While still warm, roll each doughnut drop in the cinnamon-sugar mixture until evenly coated. Serve immediately for best texture.
Nutrition (per serving, 3 drops)
Calories: 185 | Protein: 3g | Fat: 7g | Carbs: 28g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 145mg