By Thanksgiving 2032. Ninth in the house. The number is approaching double digits, which means I've been cooking Thanksgiving dinner in this kitchen for nearly a decade, which means this kitchen has absorbed more turkey juice and pie filling and gravy splatter than any surface in Oklahoma, and the laminate counter bears the evidence with the dignity of a war veteran.
Twenty-six people this year. The table situation has been solved: Dustin built a second table. From scratch. In the garage. It's not a wobbly garage sale table — it's a proper, sturdy, hand-built table from reclaimed barn wood (the same wood he used for the "Turners Feed People" sign). It seats eight. Combined with the original table (six) and the kids' table (four with boosters), we can seat eighteen comfortably and twenty-six uncomfortably, which is how Turner-Moreland holidays work: uncomfortably, loudly, wonderfully.
Spatchcocked turkey, fifteenth year. Harper, at nine, removed the backbone and didn't even look at me for approval. She just did it. The kitchen shears in her hands are routine now, the same way the wooden spoon in mine is routine, the same way the mixing bowl in Mama's was routine. The tools pass from woman to woman, hand to hand, and the passing is the teaching, and the teaching is the chain.
Cost: $78 for twenty-six. $3.00 per person. Three dollars. A Thanksgiving plate for three dollars. I posted the breakdown and the number sat there, defiant and proud, proof that the math works, the math always works, the math doesn't care about inflation or supply chains or ham prices — the math works because I make it work, because making impossible math work is the Moreland family inheritance, handed down from Mama to me, from me to the spreadsheet, from the spreadsheet to the blog, from the blog to 70,000 kitchens.
Twenty-six people means there’s a forty-five minute window after the turkey comes out of the oven—resting under foil on the counter—when everyone is loud and hungry and circling the kitchen like they haven’t eaten in a week. That window is exactly what this Pumpkin Cheese Ball was built for. I set it out on the barn-wood table Dustin built, surrounded it with crackers and apple slices, and watched it disappear while the gravy thickened and Harper sliced the bird like she was born to do it. Three dollars a plate means every other dollar has to work twice as hard, and this cheese ball—cheap, fast, and architectural enough to look intentional—works harder than most.
Pumpkin Cheese Ball
Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 2 hours 15 minutes (includes chilling) | Servings: 14
Ingredients
- 2 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese, softened
- 1/2 cup canned pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling)
- 1 cup finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese
- 2 tablespoons brown sugar, packed
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 1/2 cups finely chopped pecans, divided
- Graham crackers, gingersnaps, or apple slices for serving
Instructions
- Mix the base. In a large bowl, beat the softened cream cheese with a hand mixer or wooden spoon until smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add the pumpkin puree, shredded cheddar, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, garlic powder, and salt. Mix until fully combined and uniform in color.
- Fold in nuts. Stir in 1/2 cup of the chopped pecans directly into the cheese mixture for interior texture.
- Shape and chill. Turn the mixture out onto a large sheet of plastic wrap. Use the wrap to help shape it into a round ball. Wrap tightly and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or overnight. The colder and firmer it is, the easier it holds its shape.
- Coat the outside. Spread the remaining 1 cup of chopped pecans on a plate or sheet pan. Unwrap the chilled cheese ball and roll it firmly in the pecans, pressing gently so they adhere on all sides. Re-shape as needed.
- Serve. Place on a serving board or plate. If desired, press a small cinnamon stick into the top and add a sprig of fresh rosemary to suggest a pumpkin stem—it takes ten seconds and earns ten minutes of compliments. Surround with graham crackers, gingersnaps, and sliced apples.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 185 | Protein: 4g | Fat: 17g | Carbs: 6g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 155mg