Beach Saturdays. Sunscreen by the gallon. Caleb had baseball practice Tuesday and Thursday. I drove.
Caleb, 8, wants to be a firefighter still. Has not deviated. Hazel, 5, opinions about everything. Has Donna's directness without the diplomacy.
BBQ chicken on the grill. Ryan handled it. He grills, I do everything else.
The freezer is the secret. The freezer was full this week.
Ryan came home tired Wednesday. He showered, ate, sat on the couch, was asleep by eight. Standard for a Marine who has been up since four-thirty for PT and stayed late for a brief. The schedule is the schedule. The body adapts because it has to.
Wednesday morning meal prep — Sunday afternoon, hours of containers. The freezer is full. The future-me thanks present-me. Donna taught me this routine. Donna's freezer was always full. Donna saved her sanity with quart bags labeled in Sharpie.
I read the blog comments at the kitchen table with my coffee. A young spouse in Lejeune emailed me about deployment cooking. I wrote her back at length. I told her about the freezer. I told her about Donna. I told her she would survive. I sent her three of Donna's recipes.
Donna sent a recipe card in the mail this week. She has been doing this for years. The recipes go in the binder. The binder is full. The newest one is for a green bean casserole that uses fresh green beans and fried shallots and which I will absolutely make for the next holiday.
The kids' soccer game was Saturday morning. The other parents brought oranges and Capri Suns. I brought a thermos of coffee for myself and a folding chair I bought at Target three years ago that has been to four duty stations now. The chair is a more loyal companion than some of my friends.
I sat at the kitchen table Tuesday night writing in the journal. Volume 11 now. The handwriting has not gotten neater. The journals are a record of the life I am living, in the moment, in tiny script that I will look back on someday and not be able to read. That is okay. The writing was the thing.
I went for a walk Sunday morning before the kids got up. Half an hour. The fog was burning off. I needed it. Some weeks I get the walk in. Some weeks I don't. The week tells me which.
Ryan's friends came over Friday for a beer. I made wings and chips. They demolished both. Standard Marine appetite — they eat like they are still on rations. The kitchen looked like a battlefield by the end. They cleaned up. Marines clean up. Donna would have been impressed.
The kitchen counter has a chip in it from someone before us. Some military housing thing. I have stopped asking what. The chip is fine. The whole kitchen is provisional. We are renting from Uncle Sam.
Ryan went to his counselor Wednesday. He always comes home calmer. I am calm too, just from him being calm. The man Torres was killed with — Ryan calls his wife twice a year on Torres's birthday and the anniversary. The military widows are their own community.
I unpacked another box from storage Tuesday afternoon. Three years on this base and I am still finding things I packed in Twentynine Palms. Military-wife archeology — every box is a layer of geological history. I found a ceramic dish from Lejeune still wrapped in newspaper from 2020.
The Friday before-school morning was chaos. Three kids, two backpacks, one missing shoe. We all made it to the bus. I drank cold coffee at nine AM because that's when I sat down. Standard.
Ryan’s friends came over Friday, and I knew better than to overthink it — Marines don’t need ambiance, they need volume. The wings were fine, but honestly, pizza hoagies are what I reach for when I need something that requires zero finesse and produces zero leftovers. It’s the kind of recipe that feels almost too simple to write down, which is exactly why it works when the kitchen is already a battlefield and you’re running on cold coffee. Donna would approve: fast, unfussy, and the pan got cleaned by someone else.
Pizza Hoagies
Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 25 min | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 6 hoagie or sub rolls, split lengthwise
- 1 1/2 cups pizza sauce
- 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
- 4 oz sliced pepperoni
- 1/2 cup sliced black olives (optional)
- 1/2 cup diced green bell pepper (optional)
- 1/4 cup sliced banana peppers (optional)
- 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning, divided
- Red pepper flakes, to serve
Instructions
- Preheat. Heat oven to 375°F. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with foil.
- Prep the rolls. Arrange the split hoagie rolls cut-side up on the baking sheet. Stir the garlic powder and 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning into the melted butter, then brush evenly over the cut surfaces of each roll.
- Add sauce. Spoon 2 to 3 tablespoons of pizza sauce onto each roll half, spreading it to the edges.
- Layer toppings. Divide the pepperoni evenly among the rolls, then add any optional toppings you like. Pile the shredded mozzarella generously over everything.
- Bake. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, until the cheese is fully melted, bubbling, and beginning to brown at the edges and the roll edges are lightly toasted.
- Finish and serve. Sprinkle with the remaining 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning and red pepper flakes if desired. Serve immediately — they go fast.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 430 | Protein: 19g | Fat: 17g | Carbs: 50g | Fiber: 3g | Sodium: 920mg