By The week after the anniversary feels like the week after a fever breaks — you're not better, exactly, but the worst of it has passed through you and left you wrung out and strange and lighter than you expected. I slept nine hours Monday night. Nine. I haven't slept nine hours since before Noah was born. Brandon found me still in bed at 7:15 and made the kids breakfast — cereal, because Brandon's breakfast repertoire is cereal or cereal with bananas, and the kids know not to expect more — and I lay there and let the house be noisy without me and felt guilty and grateful in the exact same breath.
I went back to Sunday prep. It had been three weeks — I skipped Christmas week and last week I couldn't bring myself to stand in the kitchen for four hours, not after the fourteenth — but the freezer was getting low and low is a word I cannot tolerate, in freezers or in anything else. Twelve meals. I kept it steady. White chicken chili, three bags. A double batch of Hawaiian haystacks — chicken, rice, and toppings stored separately because soggy pineapple is a sin I will not commit. Slow cooker pulled pork, four bags. A tray of meatballs. The meatballs are Ethan's favorite, and he's been quiet since the fourteenth, quieter than usual, and I have learned that twelve-year-old boys do not want to be asked about their feelings but they will eat an entire tray of meatballs and feel understood, so that's what I offer. Meatballs as emotional vocabulary. It works.
Olivia's nightmares came back this week. Two nights — Tuesday and Thursday. She stands in the hallway in her nightgown and says, "Mom?" and I get up and walk her back to bed and lie next to her until she falls asleep, which takes eleven minutes or forty minutes depending on the nightmare, and I never ask what she dreamed because the therapist said let her tell you when she's ready. She's not ready. She's ten. She shouldn't have to be ready for anything except fourth-grade math and recess.
Lily lost her second front tooth Wednesday and the Tooth Fairy left a dollar under her pillow, which Lily counted and then asked if inflation affects the Tooth Fairy, and I said, "Where did you learn about inflation?" and she said Ethan told her, and I thought: my twelve-year-old is teaching my six-year-old economics, and this family is both stranger and more wonderful than anything I could have planned.
The freezer is stocked. The week held. We keep going because going is the only verb available, and I am conjugating it daily.
Ethan didn’t ask for meatballs. He never asks — he just gets quiet, and I have learned to read the quiet. Since I was already doing a full Sunday prep and had the Hawaiian haystacks going with pineapple anyway, adding a pineapple meatball variation felt like the universe nudging me toward something sweet and a little unexpected, the same way this family keeps being. These are the ones I made: sticky, glossy, pineapple-forward, and gone within twenty minutes of hitting the table.
Pineapple Meatballs
Prep Time: 20 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 45 min | Servings: 6
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 lbs ground beef (80/20)
- 1/3 cup breadcrumbs
- 1 egg
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce, divided
- 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
- 1 can (20 oz) crushed pineapple, with juice
- 1/3 cup brown sugar, packed
- 3 tablespoons ketchup
- 1 tablespoon rice vinegar
- 1 tablespoon cornstarch
- 2 tablespoons water
- 1 teaspoon sesame oil (optional)
- Sliced green onions, for garnish
Instructions
- Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 400°F. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with foil and spray lightly with cooking spray.
- Mix the meatballs. In a large bowl, combine the ground beef, breadcrumbs, egg, garlic, 1 tablespoon of the soy sauce, onion powder, salt, and pepper. Mix until just combined — do not overwork the meat.
- Form and bake. Roll mixture into 1 1/2-inch balls (you should get about 24) and arrange in a single layer on the prepared baking sheet. Bake for 18–20 minutes, until cooked through and lightly browned.
- Make the pineapple sauce. While the meatballs bake, combine the crushed pineapple with its juice, brown sugar, ketchup, remaining 1 tablespoon soy sauce, and rice vinegar in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Stir and bring to a gentle simmer.
- Thicken the sauce. Whisk together the cornstarch and water in a small bowl until smooth, then stir into the simmering sauce. Cook 2–3 minutes, stirring frequently, until the sauce is glossy and thickened. Stir in sesame oil if using.
- Combine and serve. Add the baked meatballs to the sauce and stir gently to coat. Serve over rice or as-is, garnished with sliced green onions.
- To freeze. Cool completely, then transfer meatballs and sauce together into a zip-top freezer bag. Lay flat to freeze. Reheat from frozen in a covered skillet over low heat, or thaw overnight and reheat in a saucepan.
Nutrition (per serving)
Calories: 370 | Protein: 23g | Fat: 16g | Carbs: 34g | Fiber: 1g | Sodium: 620mg