Peanut Noodles with Mixed Vegetables and Peanut Sauce — The Bowl I Made When the Kitchen Was All I Had

March 14, 2020. Eleven years sober. In a pandemic. Alone in my house because the kids are at Christine's and Ma is quarantined and the Tuesday meeting has moved to Zoom and the world has contracted to the size of my kitchen. Eleven years. 4,018 days. Every single one without a drink. I didn't get a chip. There's no meeting room to get a chip in. Bill called me on the phone and said, "Happy eleven, Bobby." I said, "Thanks, Bill. How are you?" He said, "I'm seventy-five years old in a pandemic. I'm scared. But I'm sober and that's more than I could've said at forty." Bill's honesty is the thing that keeps me honest. The man has been sober since 1988. Thirty-two years. If Bill can be scared and sober simultaneously, so can I. The Zoom meeting was strange. Twelve faces in little boxes on a screen. People talking about fear, isolation, the urge to drink. A kid named Marcus — the same Marcus who relapsed two years ago and came back — said, "I'm stuck at home with nothing to do and the liquor store is open and I can feel it pulling." I said, "Marcus, call me. Anytime. Day or night. Call me instead of the liquor store." He said he would. I hope he does. I cooked for eleven hours on my anniversary. Not because I had anyone to feed — because cooking is how I process everything. Fear, grief, joy, sobriety. It all goes through the kitchen. The menu: Ma's pho (twelve-hour, the real one, because on the anniversary, shortcuts are not allowed). Thit kho. Ca kho to. Cha gio. Banh cuon (seven out of twelve crepes were acceptable — my best ratio ever, and nobody was there to see it). I packaged the food into containers and drove it to Ma's porch. To Christine's house for the kids. To Bill's house. To Hector's. I delivered food to seven households on my sobriety anniversary during a pandemic. Eleven years ago I was on a kitchen floor. Today I'm in a driveway, putting food on a porch, waving through glass. The distance between those two points is immeasurable. And the road between them is paved with fire and smoke and patience. Year four of writing. Two hundred and eight weeks. A pandemic, a paused restaurant, a quarantined mother, a country on its knees. And Bobby Tran is standing at his smoker, tending the fire, cooking for the people he loves. Because that's all I know how to do. And it's enough. See you Monday. If there is a Monday. There will be a Monday. There's always a Monday. The fire keeps burning.

After eleven hours at the stove — pho bones, cha gio, seven households, seven porches — I came home to a kitchen that smelled like everything I love and a table set for one. I wasn’t sad about it. I was grateful. And I needed something for myself, something fast and warm that didn’t ask anything of me, that I could eat standing at the counter while the fire in the smoker finally went out. These peanut noodles are that bowl. They’re what I make when the big cooking is done and I still need the kitchen to hold me a little longer.

Peanut Noodles with Mixed Vegetables and Peanut Sauce

Prep Time: 15 min | Cook Time: 15 min | Total Time: 30 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

• 8 oz spaghetti or rice noodles
• 1 cup shredded carrots
• 1 cup thinly sliced red bell pepper
• 1 cup broccoli florets, cut small
• 1/2 cup snap peas, trimmed
• 3 green onions, thinly sliced
• 1/4 cup roasted peanuts, roughly chopped
• Fresh cilantro, for serving (optional)
• Lime wedges, for serving
• For the Peanut Sauce:
• 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
• 3 tablespoons soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes, or to taste
• 3–5 tablespoons warm water, to thin

Instructions

1. Cook the noodles. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook noodles according to package directions until al dente. Reserve 1/4 cup pasta water, then drain and rinse under cold water to stop cooking. Set aside.
2. Make the peanut sauce. In a medium bowl, whisk together peanut butter, soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil, honey, garlic, ginger, and red pepper flakes. Add warm water one tablespoon at a time, whisking until the sauce is smooth, pourable, and coats the back of a spoon. Taste and adjust seasoning.
3. Blanch the vegetables. In the same pot used for the noodles, bring water back to a boil. Add broccoli and snap peas and blanch for 90 seconds. Drain and immediately rinse with cold water to preserve color and crunch.
4. Combine. In a large bowl, toss the drained noodles with the peanut sauce, adding a splash of reserved pasta water if needed to loosen. Add carrots, bell pepper, broccoli, and snap peas. Toss everything together until well coated.
5. Serve. Divide into bowls and top with sliced green onions, chopped peanuts, and fresh cilantro. Serve with lime wedges on the side. Eat warm or at room temperature.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 430 | Protein: 15g | Fat: 19g | Carbs: 53g | Fiber: 5g | Sodium: 670mg