Parmesan Cauliflower Steaks with Marinara — Letting the Vegetable Have Its Dignity

May approaching. Two months of lockdown. The world is adapting to a new shape — socially distanced, masked, remote — and I'm adapting too, though "adapting" might be too generous a word for what I'm doing. Anaya turned two on... wait. She's not two yet. She's twenty-two months. Two comes in June. But she feels two — the opinions, the independence, the "NO" that has become her favorite word. "Anaya, eat your dal." "NO." "Anaya, let's change your diaper." "NO." "Anaya, do you love Amma?" "...yes." The selective deployment of no. She's a diplomat. The book writing has stopped. I haven't written a word of the manuscript since March. The book about cooking with my mother feels impossible when I can't cook with my mother, when I can't stand in her kitchen, when the closest I get is a FaceTime call where she watches me through a screen and tells me the sambar needs more tamarind. Sarah Chen called to check in. "How's the writing?" "It's not." "That's okay. Everyone's stopped. The deadline isn't urgent." "The deadline isn't the problem. The problem is that I'm writing about my mother's cooking and I can't be in her kitchen and she has MCI and every week I'm not there is a week of recipes I might miss." Silence. Then: "Write about that. Write about the distance. Write about FaceTime cooking and doorstep potato roast and the pandemic as the thing that separated you from the kitchen you're trying to preserve." She's right. The pandemic IS part of the story. The distance is part of the recipe. The book isn't just about sambar — it's about all the things that stand between a daughter and her mother's cooking, including a virus that closed the door. I made Amma's vendakkai poriyal tonight. Okra, fried crispy, tempered with mustard seeds and curry leaves. The dish I wrote about in the early weeks — the one where you don't touch the okra, where you let it cook undisturbed. "Don't touch it. Let it have its dignity." I'm trying to let myself have my dignity too. The stress eating, the weight gain, the mechanical survival — those are not dignified. But they're human. And the book will be about being human in a kitchen. All of it. The sambar and the midnight peanut butter.

The vendakkai poriyal taught me the lesson again tonight—don’t hover, don’t interfere, trust the heat to do what the heat does. It’s the same principle in this Parmesan cauliflower steak: you sear it, you season it, and then you let it be. No poking, no fussing, no filling the silence with unnecessary motion. When the pandemic took away my mother’s kitchen and the manuscript stalled and Anaya deployed her “NO” at full diplomatic force, the vegetables were the thing I could still get right—because they only ask that you pay attention and then step back. This one, finished with nutty Parmesan and a spoonful of bright marinara, is what I made after the okra was gone and I still needed something to hold.

Parmesan Cauliflower Steaks with Marinara

Prep Time: 10 min | Cook Time: 25 min | Total Time: 35 min | Servings: 4

Ingredients

• 1 large head cauliflower
• 3 tablespoons olive oil, divided
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (optional)
• 1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 cup marinara sauce, warmed
• 2 tablespoons fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped (for serving)

Instructions

1. Preheat and prep. Preheat your oven to 425°F. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper and brush it with 1 tablespoon of the olive oil.
2. Slice the steaks. Remove the outer leaves from the cauliflower but leave the core intact — it holds the slices together. Stand the head upright and cut it from top to bottom into four 3/4-inch-thick steaks. Reserve any florets that fall away for another use.
3. Season. Brush both sides of each steak with the remaining 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Combine the salt, pepper, garlic powder, and red pepper flakes in a small bowl and dust both sides of each steak evenly.
4. Sear first, then roast. Heat a large oven-safe skillet over medium-high heat. Working in batches if needed, sear the cauliflower steaks for 2–3 minutes per side without moving them, until a deep golden crust forms. Transfer to the prepared baking sheet.
5. Add the Parmesan. Sprinkle the grated Parmesan evenly over the tops of the seared steaks, pressing it gently so it adheres.
6. Roast undisturbed. Slide the baking sheet into the oven and roast for 15–18 minutes, until the cauliflower is tender through the core and the Parmesan is golden and set. Do not flip or fuss with them.
7. Serve. Spoon the warmed marinara onto each plate, set a cauliflower steak on top, and scatter the chopped parsley over everything. Serve immediately.

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 210 | Protein: 8g | Fat: 14g | Carbs: 15g | Fiber: 4g | Sodium: 490mg